Vet bennies and reason #352 why Wisconsin is awesome.

First things first, this blog post is brought to you by my uber-cool, super smart best friend Beth. She passed this article my way and I just had to post it for y'all. So say it with me, Thanks Beth!!!

Did you know that the state of Wisconsin has its own GI Bill? Yep. It is a separate program from both federal programs (Montgomery and Post 9/11). How fabulous is that? I (admittedly) haven't done a TON of research, but I think WI is one of a very few states that have such a program . Which is awesomesacue. Go 'Sconnie! (Pleeeaaaase correct me in the comments if you are aware of other programs- I'd love to give those states a shout-out too!)

The official state line is this:

The Wisconsin G.I. Bill provides a full waiver (“remission”) of tuition and fees for eligible veterans and their dependents for up to 8 full-time semesters or 128 credits at any University of Wisconsin System (UWS) or Wisconsin Technical College System (WTCS) institution for continuing education, or for study at the undergraduate or graduate level.

But... the bad news is that in last year's budget, our Reps voted to (in effect) disallow this program by mandating Vets use the federal GI Bill (Post 9/11 type) and preventing them from "doubling" up on benefits. Bummer. Word is the move was a measure, among many, to cut the state budget and shamefully, it passed. HOWEVER, this year? They are making amends. There is currently a bill in the state Legislature that would reopen this state benefit to all Veterans.

The best things is that, if a Vet in the state of Wisconsin was a) motivated and b) street-wise, they could stand to get a Bachelors (or Associates, etc) degree PLUS 2-4 years of post-Bacheloriate education. That is a Master's degree, folks. That could even be a PhD degree. Or a Professional Certificate program. FOR FREE. (Color me envious because that stuff is Eeeeexspensive!) In total, it would be 16 semesters of schooling paid for. Awesomesacue. Talk about the cherry on top of the Post 9/11 GI Bill cupcake.

In my mind, this is HUGE. And I, for one, am super proud to be from a state that puts this much pride, hope and trust in the potential of their Veterans. Beth and I have discussed numerous times that there have been a ton of studies showing that Vets are (on average) much more productive with the degrees they get post service in the armed forces (if I can get some citations for this, I will). I am so impressed that Wisconsin recognizes this and is willing to pony up the money (which is still a contentious issue) to help our Vets take advantage of the myriad of educational opportunities and degrees out there. Hooray!

And, as Swiss and I are finding out, a Bachelor's doesn't always assure you a good paying job in your field of choice. In many, many fields advanced degrees are the norm, the standard and the expectation. This program allows our Vets to go on and get these additional degrees without worry of financial burdens and tuition bills... and more importantly get the appropriate degrees necessary to hit the ground running after their time in service. I can't say enough how fabulous this is... give non-traditional students like our Vets a leg up is time and money well spent, not to mention a more than appropriate way to say Thank You for your service. So HOORAY WISCONSIN!

Now, let's get this bill passed! And here's another idea: Talk to you state Reps and see what you and your fellow MilFolk can do to get a program like this implemented in your state. THAT would be something to be proud of!

(cross posted at LeftFace!)

How to Leave a Soldier... your take:

So there was this letter, posted on salon.com... by a former MilSpouse, talking about the demise of her marriage in the face of being a military family. I personally would call it incendeary and self-serving and sad... and a missed opportunity, but I think you all should read it and throw in your two cents over at the other blog I write for: LeftFace. There has been a lot of great debate and talk about it and I'd love to see what y'all think about it too!

Go check it out!

PS- I wrote something of actual use!

Check it out... I wrote a (not so little) piece on the GI Bill/VA woes that are surfacing now. Nothing groundbreaking, but I'd like to think it is pretty informative and at least tells the sordid tale of what really happened to cause all this. Check it out if you are interested or curious!

Also, as an update: The VA is agreeing to give out "emergency" $3,000 payments to Vets who haven't yet received their checks to cover rent. Go VA!

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

This comment arrived under the “Who We Are” section over at LeftFace, but I wanted to put it out there to as wide of an audience as possible. Kristy is trying to get some real changes made and we ALL need to throw our thoughts into the ring. Please think about these questions she poses and get your voice out there!!!

Hi All, My name is Kristy Kaufmann, I’m the Army wife who wrote the op-ed in the Washington Post, “Army Families Under Fire” 5/11/09.

Since the article ran, I’ve been in contact with the White House, the Secretary of the Army, the office of the Sec. of Defense, Army family program directors and some congressmen and senators. It’s taken me 8 years and an op-ed to get in the room and I’m doing everything I possibly can use this “voice” to inject some urgency and reality into these conversations. I am completely unaffiliated and my only agenda is to speak for the many who have no voice and hold our leaders (civilian and military) accountable for doing what they say they are going to do (and doing it effectively).

We (military families) need smart people like you at the ground level who are unafraid to speak honestly and help provide solutions. I wouldn’t have taken the risk to write the article if I didn’t think it could affect significant change, but I’m just one person. I need to hear from others that are “in the trenches”; ours is the voice that has been missing from the conversations where decisions are being made. I have a direct line to the top right now, let’s use this opportunity!

Here are a couple of questions I’ve been asked by non-profits who want to help military families, they want input from the ground level. Please feel free to post them on Left Face, people can also respond directly to me at kkaufmanncool@gmail.com. I will keep all responses anonymous. I’m using “soldier” to represent all military members, regardless of branch.

1. What are the biggest problems facing soldiers (and their families) returning from deployment?
2. What could be done to address these problems?
3. Does the current military family support system work? If not, why?
4. How can veteran’s service organizations help military families?
5. If you had all the power in the world, what would you do to support soldiers and military families?

Thanks! Kristy

Here are my two cents, which I already posted over at LF… I really encourage all of you to either shoot Kristy an e-mail or head over to LeftFace to get your opinions and thoughts heard!

1. I echo LopsidedMom on this one. JOBS! My husband will soon retire and our options are super limited give his MOS and I worry that if he doesn't stay in a career with military ties (ROTC, JROTC) no one will realize his potential, experience and mad skills. The Vet unemployment rate is WAY too high and generally speaking these are folks with loads of potential and a totally untapped resource. We need to fix this!

2. I think the tax incentives are a good start- make it profitable to hire these folks. But again, echoing LopsidedMom, we need to educate employers to their skill sets, abilities, and all the ways these amazing folks can be an asset to their company.

Also, help them recognize that sometimes with folks like this, college degrees aren't necessary, their breadth and wealth of experience should count for something. I can't tell you how many jobs my husband has already looked into and is qualified for SKILL-wise but not Degree-wise. This is an issue for lots of retiring NCO's and we need to create a situation that allows these troops (especially those with 15-20 years in) to get more than entry level jobs. (And the GI Bill isn't the only answer to this, we need to get creative here!)

3. Yes and no. If the FRG (Army) is run by someone who has a) the time, b) the resources and c) the support to do it right, then it works well. But more often than not, this isn't the situation. I agree that these positions all need to be paid and specific goals/tasks need to be laid out so that expectations can be met and folks can be held accountable. These groups need to revolve less around socializing/status making and more around concrete help, support and education.

I also think that the support network for families not in the general vicinity of their installation (ie- went home to live with parents during the deployment, didn't choose to move shortly before a deployment like me, etc) needs to be beefed up and the DoD or someone needs to be more creative about creating support networks for these folks. I would love to see someone create databases (I know this is a huge task) that would allow military families of all branches reach out and find real tangible support in their location. I wouldn't care if the only folks I had in town for support were Navy or Air Force (that's not a dig!)... just having actual people to meet with when you are geographically separated from your Unit would be AMAZING. This is an area that is sorely lacking!

4. I think that having lists of trusted service providers would be a great start. Who can you trust to do yard work? What is a reliable mechanic that won't try to take advantage of me? Who does good home repair that, again, won't fleece me? I also think that possibly Veteran organizations could also serve as a resource for finding other military families in your area. They could possibly host meet-ups open to all branches? But I do agree that this should be a two way street. If Vet's organizations and MilFamilies relied on each other, there could be A LOT of amazing work accomplished!

5. At the risk of sounding like a Miss America contestant, I agree with trying to bring peace to fruition and bring our troops home. But in all seriousness. I would stop using our troops as worldwide peace-makers. I would try to rely more on UN forces and support/augment these groups for situations like Iraq, etc. I would use our troops in more of a preventative role (rather than reactionary and risk becoming the go-to guys in everyone else's time of need), focusing on intelligence, homeland security, keeping the US safe and working WITH allies and multi-national forces in supporting roles instead of taking over. If conflict wasn't avoidable, I would focus on utilizing our forces efficiently and evenly, paying close attention to OpTempo and staying within our means (both at home and in theatre).

I would put real money, time and effort into fixing the woefully inadequate systems in place to deal with PTSD, suicides, substance abuse and relationship/family issues. I would also beef up the school and support programs for military kids... more after school programs, more counselors, more funding for special events. Anything to make deployments easier on kids. And yes, free college to Gold Star kids for sure.

Lastly, I totally second LopsidedMom on requiring our elected officials to wear 80lbs of combat gear and go to Birkram Yoga. But only after they had to do some Basic Training and get buzz cuts.

Okay folks, now it is your turn. Go get your opinions heard!!! Double Time!!!

Puppy paws and eyeballs.

They do not mix. Let me tell you!

Yep, I get to go to the Opthamologist today because Fletch managed to poke/nick/claw my eyeball last night while playing. I'm thinking that my contact lens took the brunt of the assault, but we will know for sure later today. So the moral of the story, in true OSHA fashion, is to wear protective eye wear when roughhousing with your dog on the floor.

And in other news, I am super pumped that there are two (2!) different series going on in the blog-o-sphere about reintegration and post-deployments: SisB over at Veritably Bare and LAW & The Army Wife over at LeftFace. I feel like, though 'far' away still, our reintegration is a final exam that I have no way of studying for... and it ain't open book either. So I am thrilled that these awesome ladies are going to share their experiences, advice, tips and really put themselves out there in such an open and honest way... I'm hoping I can glean some insider tips and at least show up to my final exam slightly prepared! Anyway, go check them out and share your experiences (mostly so I can glom off of your knowledge!)!

That is all I have for today. I do wish it would stop raining though... Happy Wednesday everyone! Off to get some caffeine!!!

UPDATE: The eyeball is fine, though now both eyes are dilated and I am stuck at work with enough fluorescent lighting to land a UFO. Mah eyez! They hurt! Anyway, that is all. Carry on!

Give me your Money!

Okay, not ME. Give THEM your money. And by THEM I mean military kids. Sounds like a better idea now, right?

Anyway, check out this post at LeftFace (Great work LopsidedMom!) and then go here: Donors Choose. Stephen Colbert is wicked awesome and I am super stoked that he is championing this cause. I donated to a high school at LeJeune... mini-computers for field work and environmental testing. That is the coolest part, you get to pick the Service Branch you want to support (Go Army!) and then you get to pick the specific project you want to donate to. And all of them help military kids. Wicked cool.

So go give a little money that will really help, so support the military by supporting their kids. And like Mr. Colbert, I too believe the children are our future, so let's start sucking up to them now, okay? Thus ending this PSA.

Exactly!!!

So I am in the middle of reading "I Love a Man in Uniform" by Lily Burana (which is excellent and super engaging BTW) and I just came across a nugget of wisdom and insight that had me instantly running over to my computer to post about it. Here it is:

"The weirdest thing about West Point? No one discussed the war. ... In my "civilian" friendships, your opinion is like your fingerprint, a critical marker of your identity. We talked about the war all the time, pro or con. It was a political football tossed back and forth in constant conversational play. But at West Point, I never conversed about the political or moral ramifications of the war. ... The depth of candor surrounding the domestic ramifications of the current conflict was astonishing. But what we thought of the war itself? It never came up. Not even once." -Lily Burana

YES! That is the problem! That is why we have LeftFace! That is why we are trying to open up the dialogue about what it means to be a military spouse and how to reconcile personal opinions (and politics) with our husband's careers and the culture of the military.

It isn't about bashing one view or extolling the virtues of any given political party. It is about SHARING. It is about the exchange of thoughts and ideas. It is about openly and honestly talking about the very issues that our loved ones must enact. We SHOULD be talking about this war. We MUST be questioning policies. We NEED to engage each other about these topics! Why? Because every last bit of these policies directly effect us, the 1%. I refuse to just take what someone (especially our government, regardless of who is running it) tells me at face value. I was taught to think outside the box, to analyze the situations, problems and resolutions in front of me. I was molded into a critical thinker, not only by my parents, but by my educational institutions and my life experiences. None of that changed when I became an Army wife.

Just because we are military, doesn't negate our ability (and right) to be critical, challenging and open minded. It doesn't renege our right to question and debate the policies, politicians and government who we are inextricably tied to. And engaging in these thoughtful, open, honest and critical debates does NOT make me unpatriotic, it does not make me a bad military spouse and it most certainly does not lessen my pride in our armed forces, our country or my husband. Thankyouverymuch.

Aw heck... here it is: PTSD and Grey's Anatomy?

So last night I was watching TV because my husband is deployed and that is what I do. Grey’s Anatomy came on and I’ll admit that I’ve gotten sucked back into the show this season. Izzy is dying and McDreamy is thinking of quitting and will he propose to Meredith?… good drama! But, the character I have been most intrigued by is Dr. Owen Hunt (Kevin McKidd). See, Owen is a former Major in the Army, a trauma surgeon for the past 3 years in Iraq (I don’t know how that happens but we are going with it because it is TV and not reality). He’s got some issues and he has just started a relationship with a fellow doctor, Cristina Yang ( Sandra Oh).

The show has been building up to a crescendo with these two for some time. About a month ago there was a story-line with Owen where his fiance shows up to the hospital and is aghast when she sees him because she didn’t know he was back from Iraq. It seems he cut and run on the life he had before his tour(s) in Iraq- not even his mom knows he is home. Two weeks ago Cristina awoke him from a nap and his reaction was violent- he shoved her across the room and she cut her arm. Ever since he showed up on Grey’s there have been glimmers and glimpses into the mental and emotional turmoil he is trying to wade though. Last night however, things came to a head and really cemented his diagnosis of PTSD. (See there is a point to this!)

The show began with Cristina asleep in bed and Owen resting next to her, clearly he adores her and he tenderly covers her up with the blanket as she sleeps. He tries to fall asleep by staring at the rotating blades of the ceiling fan… and he finally does. But moments later we see him straddling Cristina with his hands around her neck, violently choking her, she is trying to scream but she can’t breathe and is gasping for air while clawing at him to get him off of her. His strength is overwhelming and she can’t get his attention- his eyes are glassy and vacant- he doesn’t even flinch when she is hitting him in the face. Finally a roommate breaks in the room and her shouting snaps him out of it. Cristina runs for cover in the bathroom and Owen first looks bewildered but then starts crying, terrified of what he has done.

Later that day, Cristina is confronted by a friend (Dr. Meredith Grey) about needing to get out of this relationship, that is isn’t okay that he hurt her. Her reply was simple: There is something medically wrong with him, she can’t leave him just because he is sick. What if he broke his leg or had a heart attack? Would you ask me to leave him then? Meanwhile Dr. McDreamy tries to talk to Owen after he has a freezing bout on the helipad (seems the rotation of blades- ceiling fan or helicopter- is his trigger), Owen turns into a jerk, though McDreamy (a neurosurgeon) mentions that he can help him with his PTSD, there are new treatments and brain imaging that can help him get over this. Owen said that he managed to come home with no real injuries, he has all his limbs and there are so many who were so much more injured than him. McDreamy tries to tell him that his PTSD is a real injury and that he needs treatment. Owen walks out.

Later, Cristina confronts Owen in the stairwell, he knows there is something really wrong and he is terrified of hurting her, he worries what would have happened if he hadn’t snapped out of it. She is determined to stand by his side, she says that she knows her limits and she can handle this. But the most touching, gut-wrenching and hard to watch scene was at the end of the episode. Cristina and Owen meet in a quiet room, he asks if he can hold her. She says yes and they embrace, they end up make love and afterwords we see her laying in his arms. She is wide awake and Owen is drifting off to sleep. She wakes him by announcing that she was wrong, she can’t do this, she can’t be with him anymore because she is laying in his arms afraid to fall asleep. Afraid of what he might do.

The show ends with Owen on a CT bed getting ready for a brain scan with Dr. McDreamy at his side…

Did any of you see this episode? What do you think of this depiction of PTSD? Will this raise awareness or does it vilify a veteran? What does it mean that war related PTSD is making it into our pop culture and showing up in living rooms on network TV? Where do you think this story-line will go and how will things end for Owen… or more importantly where would you like to see it go? I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

PS- You can watch this episode online at abc, it is under ‘free episodes’ this one was titled “Elevator Love Letter” from 26 March. I think it will be available to watch after 7pm Central.

UPDATE: Here’s some of the buzz online in the entertainment world about this episode… This
from ew.com:

"For starters, I was heaving sobs in under three minutes, despite the fact that I was
well-prepared for Owen’s post-traumatic-stress-disorder-induced sleep-choking of
Cristina. Callie heard the commotion and broke it up, otherwise things
could’ve gone much worse. And that’s just the point. At the risk of getting all
public service announcement here, I truly believe this is a fantastic story line
to tackle — the phenomenon of post-war night terrors that can endanger your bed
partner is very, very real (my Vietnam-vet dad went through this for years, when
I was too young to appreciate the strain on both him and my mom), and few people
realize (or really want to think about) what soldiers go through once they get
home. It helps, in this case, to have a pair of sublime actors handling this
sensitive topic. As good as they’ve been at amping up the romance crackling
between Owen and Cristina, Kevin McKidd and Sandra Oh brought the Emmy
consideration tonight from scene 1."

PTSD and Grey's Anatomy?

I wrote a long post over at LeftFace about last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy where they not only show the violence that can result from PTSD, but also the personal fallout that too often accompanies it. Please go check it out, otherwise I will have to re-post it here and that just seems redundant... no?

Happy Friday all and I'm really glad that other people have weird fruit eating dogs too.

Moltes gràcies.

That's Thank You in Catalan*. Thank you for listening to my rant. Thank you for not telling me the things I already know (like... "it could be worse" or "he isn't on vacation" or "I know a guy who's at so-and-so and he didn't shower for months!"). And thank you for understanding. Ooh! And thank you to you new folks for stopping by and commenting... I really appreciate it!

It is another cold, windy, rainy spring day here and I am working on a post about suicides in the military, especially the Army. I will be posting it as soon as I can wrap my brain around the issues. In the meantime... please go check out this new MilSpouse site: LeftFace. It is a new, 'alternative' MilSpouse site for those of us who think a bit more outside of the box, or at least left of the box. It just got up and running this weekend, and I will be posting there quasi-regularly, so go on over and check it out. There are a lot of amazing, smart, witty, and generally speaking great ladies who are posting (or will be posting) over there so go see what they have to say... we'd love your 2 cents too!

UPDATE: I put up my post about Suicides and the Military over at LeftFace... please go check it out and I really want to hear people's opinions and ideas about this topic and I really want y'all to check out the new site. Thanks!

*I have a secret love for Catalonia. You see in my fantasy, Swiss and I would move to Barcelona (or at least have a vacation home there), eat a lot of seafood, get season tickets to see Barça, and stroll up and down Las Ramblas sipping lattes and people watching. Then we would settle in for the night curled up on a balcony overlooking the Mediterranean sipping delicious red wine chatting until we couldn't keep our eyes open. Sleep and repeat. Can you tell this is where our first big post-Army trip is going to be to?