Fort Hood.

I'd be a bit remiss if I didn't talk about the 1 year anniversary of the shootings at Fort Hood. Upfront, I should tell you that neither Swiss nor I were there that day, though Fort Hood was our duty station at the time. Swiss was on his way back to Iraq after R&R and I was still in Minnesota. But, none of that matters.

Fort Hood was home for us. It was a place we felt safe and more than anywhere else I've been, we felt like a part of a community. No one ever thinks something like that will happen at their home, happen to people they know. But it did. It was senseless, horrific, tragic and beyond comprehension. And the flowers, ribbons and notes in the fences around that building served as reminders every single day of those who lost their lives, those who were deeply affected by it, and those who did all they could to help the victims around them.

I don't have anything more poignant to say, just that today you should take a minute to remember those families, remember those who were lost so senselessly, and thank those who risked everything to end the events of that horrific day.

Michael G. Cahill
MAJ Libardo E. Caraveo
SSGT Justin M. DeCrow
CPT John P. Gaffaney
SPC Frederick Greene
SPC Jason D. Hunt
SSGT Amy S. Kreuger
PFC Aaron T. Nemelka
PFC Michael S. Pearson
CPT Russell G. Seager
PFC Francheska Velez and her unborn child
LTC Juanita Warman
PFC Kham S. Xiong

Farewell Fort Hood.

Hello All.  I am Swiss.  My lovely wife has given me the privilege of posting my feelings on leaving Fort Hood and the Army; to put it plainly, leaving neither is difficult.  There is a lot that can said about getting to a new unit and watching things unfold from the perspective of the new guy along with the sense that you were never really welcome.  Looking closely at the last few years, I can see now that my final taste of the Army had to be one of bitterness... or I may have never left.  The only thing I truly will miss about the Army will be standing up for other people who can't stand up for themselves.

Hey all, it's me, Tucker again... I can say that leaving here is sort of surreal. Despite never wanting to move to Texas, despite Fort Hood being the lesser of three evils, despite the heat and enormous bugs and snakes... we made this place home. We said goodbye here, we had our homecoming here, we got to be us for the first time here. Now, I won't say that we liked it enough to want to stay here. Far from it. But I think living on an installation makes you feel more at home, like a part of a community, like you belong. That I will miss. I won't miss the scorching summers. Nor will I miss the hoodlum kids that taunt the dog and throw trash in our yard. But I will miss the thumping of Apaches on training missions, falling asleep to artillery rounds, and I will miss the bugle calls. I won't miss the 8 rush hours or the bad drivers. I won't miss the hugeness of this post, nor will I miss the cockroaches. But I will miss being one of us... an active duty spouse, one of the many in our ranks. I will miss being knee deep in the Hooah. Oh yeah, and the sunsets. I'll miss those. Nothing like a big sky Texas sunset...

In any event, being married to the military has been a trip. It has taken me (and us) places we never imagined, it has been the source of incredible highs and crushing lows. And it has led me to all of you, dear readers, for which I am the most grateful. I have grown so much in these few years with the help of your support and wisdom, and thanks to the Army (and the internet) I've meet some of the most amazing women with whom I will always be friends. Thank you for joining us on this journey, thank you for following all of our ups and downs, and I truly hope you all will stick around now that I am officially an Alumnus.


So off we go, leaving this chapter,this place, this life behind. There is a long road ahead of us (literally) and we can't wait to get started. But first, cue up the music... I'll take a little "On the Road Again" action if you please.

Hooah and farewell... for now,

<3

Tucker and Swiss

FAIL.

Thank you Army Hotel Group. For moving us from one hotel to another in the middle of a PCS when the LAST thing I want to do is move all our shit again. Awesomesauce. 


Also? Thanks for making me cry for the first time during this process. It shouldn't have been a big deal, but my last nerve seems to have been packed up with the rest of our stuff so, yeah my tolerance level for people's stupidity is now at zero. I blame you.

Know what I love about the Army?

Nowhere else do they wake you up for PT in the morning with canon fire. I'm telling you... nothing will kick you ass out of bed like good old canons. BOOM!

One more Retirement FYI. Or two...

So all of my previous retirement stuff can be found here and here (this one was featured in the Blogs section of the Army's Stand To site and I didn't know it until today- super cool!).

But here's the thing I want y'all to know. (Which I wish we knew). Housing WILL NOT give you your all clear stamp early, and you can't fully clear- and therefore get your DD-214- until you've cleared housing. So, I would suggest that y'all just book yourselves a week or two in a hotel or on-post lodging and get the housing situation squared away sooner rather than later. Otherwise you will be like Swiss and I are now... somewhat akin to jobless college kids home for summer break. Lots of TV and aimless meandering around the house with tiny sporadic bursts of packing.

Back to my point. Seeing as how we did not do this... Swiss can't clear post until the afternoon of the day we plan to leave. And go to finance and to the S1 and get the DD-214 and his retirement awards. Then drive half way from here to Minnesota. Jealous, aren't you?

We shall file this under things I wish someone had told us 6 months ago. And believe you me... that list is turning into a doozie.

Also, here are my sage two cents on all things pertaining to the VA: Do your homework. Looking into the Post 9-11 GI Bill? Find out how long the turn around time is on the applications (weeks, lots and lots of weeks) so you can work with your school accordingly. And get to know the process, which can be convoluted and confusing, so that when you start to navigate it you'll at least have an inkling of what you should be doing. Unhappy with your disability percentage? Find out who to contact with your dispute and get your medical records in order. Like tippy toppy shape. Know them backwards and forwards.

So, that is all I have to say about this topic for the time being. Once this whole brewhaha is over with (FYI- it takes up to 45 days from your formal retirement date to get your disability percentage) I will have a big ole' summary for you guys.

Retirement, Part Deux.

So, are y'all ready for part two? Well, ready or not, here it comes... (and if you missed part one, check it out)

Okay everybody, here's the gist of it: there are things you should do, things you must do, and things that are way more complicated than they should be that often you don't/won't get told about. Is it annoying? Of course. But the main thing is (hopefully) that you get the nitty gritty list from someone who has just gone through it (because we all know in 5-10 years this process is going to be totally different) and make sure you do the things that aren't on the official list. Here is my list.

MEDICAL:

• At the risk of sounding like a broken record, if your spouse should have any ailments, any at all, go to sick call and get it documented! This might require multiple trips (I'd suggest multiple trips with similar ailments bundled into each visit) but it is a very important step that is not written down anywhere. Apparently, the VA reps who review your medical records are mostly trained to hone in on sick call forms... not official medical records. The more of the sick call forms you have, the more accurate their summary of your medical records will be. Otherwise you have to do it and make sure your MDs know about it.

• Also, be aware that these MDs doing the VA physicals are booked. Always. Expect a 5-6 week wait for your first appointment. This is where the planning ahead and allowing time for this stuff will really work in your favor.

• Be warned that there WILL be extra appointments. While you are allowed to do these appointments while on terminal leave, the 2 or so appointments they first schedule you for aren't the last ones you'll be doing. Most of these will be scheduled only after the first round. Be sure to leave wiggle room in your schedule for these!

HOUSING/TRANSPORTATION:

• Get with housing and transportation. Here, housing told me in January that they were okay with only 2 weeks notice for retirements, which was awesome. Turns out that isn't the case (thankfully we have more than enough time to schedule it). However, since transportation requires the usuall 30 days, it is sort of a moot point. Your post might be different so check in to it early and often! Ask lots of questions and if something sounds hinky, ask again!

• Be ready to be flexible with every aspect of this last PCS. Assuming that you have left yourself tons of time to complete this, it shouldn't be an issue. However, given how fickle things can be with theses processes, be sure to give yourself enough of a window. And, unlike some more traditional PCS scenarios (assuming you are moving to a location not near your current duty station and not near another military installation), plan to stay a night or two on post after you clear housing. This will allow you to get registered with the VA and tie up any loose ends that you may be used to tying up before moving out of housing.

DOCUMENTS GALORE:

• Be mindful of the documents you will need in your new non-Army endeavours. Mainly your retirement orders, your DD-214, and any documentation supporting preferences given in hiring (Purple Heart, 30+% disability, etc). These documents can help you quite a bit, but anyone who is willing to help a Vet wants documentation, so have it in a handy place.

• Did I mention something last time about getting organized? At this point, if you haven't done it, sit down and do it. You should have files for the medical records, files for the VA, files for clearing, and the ever-important file for all the papers and orders you need to get anything done on post.

INSURANCE:

• This is one of those things that they give you pamphlets on and let you figure out the rest. Fun, right? I'll give you the run-down: Your spouse will automatically be removed from TriCare Prime when they get their new card and status change to "Retired", though they will still be covered under Standard. At this point, you get to choose what insurance you want, assuming you are not eligible for the VA insurance. TriCare Prime is really only going to do you any good if you end up living relatively close to a major military installation. The enrollment fee is cheap ($400 per family per year), and the co-pays are wonderfully awesome, but you are mostly limited to in-service providers (like a HMO) which are only going to be present in helpful enough numbers near a military base. But FYI- Prime Remote is no longer an option when you transition to retired status! TriCare Standard or Extra will likely serve you best if you are going to move somewhere less close to military medical care/military installations. This is still a pretty cheap option, but you will be required to pay a little bit more as a dependent than you used to (something like 5% more). Either way, you have to re-look at your insurance situation with a new set of eyes, be aware of your final location, costs and physician availability.

• Be cognizant of the fact that you are paying for insurance out of pocket. When you get offered your next non-military job, be sure to keep this bargaining chip in mind. Most employers pay some or all of your enrollment fees and whanot. Be sure to let them know you won't be participating (unless it is way better/cheaper than TriCare) and see if they will pony up extra money for your salary or extra vacation days. This goes for you too spouses!!!

So, there you have it, the latest and greatest hits from the Tucker and Swiss Retirement Tour. I'll keep you all posted as things get crazier! And as always, let me know in the comments if there are other issues you have questions about!

This is bananas. AKA the Retirement process.

Y'all, seriously, the whole retirement process really is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I've been wanting to write about this process for some time now, but is is so long and drawn out that there has been no good time to to sit down and put it to paper screen. But I suppose now we are coming to a close and there really is no better time than the present. And before I get started, to all you Navy/Marine/Coastie/Air Force folks, sorry! I don't know how much of this is consistent across the board (I'd imagine the VA stuff is) but all I can speak to is the Army's process... in any event, I hope even this little bit can help you prepare for a future ETS or retirement!

So, the long and short of it is this: ACAP, VA, meetings, meetings, seminars, meetings, VA, ACAP, ACAP, retirement office, VA, housing, transportation, VA, VA physicals, retirement office, VA. Or something near that. What you need to know is that it is a long process with a lot of stops along the way, make sure you leave plenty of time to do it all. And a stash of beer or wine won't hurt!

ACAP is the Army's program for transitioning out of the service. Everything from interview skills, resumes, job searches, how to dress for interviews, job fairs, prospective employer meet and greets, generally just a whole lot of how to get your shit together for life outside the Army. It is a great program and, aside from the nutty schedules for the seminars and meetings, full of useful information. ACAP is awesome and be sure to take full advantage of it. And spouses! You can use ACAP too! Your spouse isn't the only one transitioning out of the Army so you can participate in their resume workshops and job fairs as well. Use it!

The VA stuff is insane. Insane because the sheer amount of information they throw at you, insane because of the mind-boggling loopholes and if-then scenarios they pose. And insane because when you are retiring, how you handle the VA stuff before you leave duty will have a MAJOR impact not only on your disability, but on how easily you will be able to navigate the VA system once you are in it. Suffice to say, the more you do, and the better/more thoroughly you do it, the easier your life will be in the future. But be prepared to have your mind blown by how the system works. BANANAS.

The retirement office on post handles lots of the paperwork. All the DD-214s and retirement orders and they are the ones who actually get you out of the Army. My 2 cents when working with them? Be Prepared. Have copies of all your necessary documents, have copies of all your awards and honors, and review what the system says you have (in terms of time in service, duty stations, ranks, awards) before you walk in the door. Double checking is your best friend. And play nice with your representative- they can make your life hell if you make their job difficult (that should be obvious, but this is one person you want on your good side!)

Now, back to the VA insanity. This is probably the single most important part to retiring (a little less so for ETSing) so I'm gonna focus here a bit. The things I think y'all need to know up front are these:

• VA systems are based on a regional format. These regions DO NOT interface (as insane as this may be, it is the truth). If you move from one region to another, it is 100% on you to take your medical records with you and ensure that your records are transferred to your new region. 100% on you. Did you get that? Its all on you to make sure this stuff transfers the way it should.

• The VA system is not one stop shopping. It is like the utility company, if you are having problems with the electric, you wouldn't call the water company, right? BE SURE WHO YOU ARE CALLING. If you aren't sure, ask or check online. Because if you call the wrong folks? They will not help you, you will get frustrated, and you will give up... loosing out on benefits and help. And this is probably the single most common mistake when dealing with the VA.

• Have your medical records in tip-top shape. I mean it! You need to account for every bump and bruise going in to these VA appointments. The whole point is that someone will review the records and then set up medical appointments to corroborate and suss out any health issues. The more complete your records are, the more likely you will a) get an accurate disability rating and b) get these things on record for both future healthcare and future disability should the condition worsen. Very important stuff folks. And this could be thousands of dollars over a lifetime. (Did you know that tendonitis in and ankle or knee, if documented, is 10% straight away??? And that stuff adds up!)

• ASK QUESTIONS! The whole thing is complicated and confusing... fro the Post 9-11 GI Bill down to how and when to register with the system (FYI- you register on the first day you are no longer an active duty soldier). If you aren't sure, ask, because sometimes finding the answer out yourself could take days. The more notes you take early in the process and the more questions you ask, the better you will understand the process... or at least where to start looking when you have issues. This will serve you well in the long run. I promise!

As for the rest of it? These tid-bits pertain to anyone getting out- ETS or Retirement. These are the nuggets of wisdom I've taken away from the process so far and I think they will help anyone going through this:

• Schedule! This stuff takes time. And the meetings/presentations/specific hours that things are done are ridiculous and all over the place. Leave yourself enough time to get all this taken care of without rushing. Rushing leads to mistakes and mistakes lead to problems. If you have questions, talk to the ACAP folks and the people in the retirement office. They will know! Also, some of these meetings require your spouse to attend, so be prepared and have your calendars open!

• Schedule! Part two! Make sure your unit is allowing you enough time to get through the retirement process. As I said, this takes time and if you are tasked with labor and time intensive duties when you should be ACAPing or doing your VA physicals, you will be scrambling at the last minute to get it all done. These appointments will dictate when you can PCS and when your terminal leave can start- the sooner you get done, the more enjoyable and stress-free the final stages will be. (Trust me, we are living this nightmare right now because Swiss got tasked with running EIB when he should have been working on retiring. NIGHTMARE!)

• LISTEN! Pay close attention to the content of those meetings. As boring as they are (and I know they are, I've sat through them!) they are chock full of useful information that you will (WILL) need in the future. Take notes, ask questions, pay attention! They will cover everything from Post 9-11 GI Bill benefits, VA health care, insurance, claiming preference... it is all so important! So don't tune out, don't doodle, don't take naps. Suck it up and pay attention. Your bank account, sanity, and future health care will benefit in the long run.

• Document. Have your paperwork in order. This means everything from medical records to NCOERs and promotion paperwork, honors and awards, re-enlistment contracts... the whole kit and caboodle. The better organized you are the easier the whole process will be. Take some time before you start the process to get this all in order. It will save you lots of headaches in the coming months. 

• Be flexible. Both in schedule and attitude. Know that your dream PCS/terminal leave dates may or may not work. Know that the date you want to do a particular ACAP meeting might be booked, have alternates in the back of your mind. Be prepared to bounce around the offices and missing some of the silly hours they have set up for these things (because you have no way of knowing they only look at medical records from 8-11 on Mondays). As frustrating as it might be, it is necessary because they don't make it easy on you. Consider yourself warned.

• Organize! Make yourself a big old file folder (or set aside a drawer, box, whatever) and keep all this stuff you'll be getting in one place. There will be more handouts and information than you can keep track of, so start some files for each item so you can find it again. I SO wish we would have done this early on. I am faced with doing this now and it is a HOT MESS. Also, this will serve you well in the future as you need to go back and reference this information.

• BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE! The people helping you are just doing their job. As nice as they may be, its no skin off their back if you get screwed in the end. I don't mean to sound cynical, but it is in your best interest to pay attention to what is going on. Case in point, when Swiss's medical records were getting reviewed his (VERY) well documented history of a thyroid disorder, skin cancer and a gunshot wound from combat were missed. If he hadn't spoken up, not only would his medical care have suffered, but we would have missed out on something like 70% disability. Huge deal folks! HUGE! If you aren't going to pay attention and look out for yourself, you can't expect someone who sees you as just another case to do it for you. So, this might be the single most important pointer I can give you. Take ownership of this process and the information- double check, triple check and pay attention! Be your own advocate. Period!

Okay, so that is the nitty gritty cliff notes version of this process so far. As more things come to light, I will pass on whatever nuggets of wisdom I glean. And also, please, please, please don't hesitate to ask questions either by e-mail or in the comments if you have them. I'm by no means an expert in this, but I'd be glad to pass on whatever information I have!

Stay tuned for more information! Ooh, and let me know if there are aspects of this process you specifically want more information on... I'll do my best to help out however I can.

Pride and punishment.

For the past few months Swiss has been in charge of planning, organizing and running his battalion's Expert Infantryman Badge testing. It's been countless weeks of late hours, planning and prepping for a week's worth of testing... brutal testing and brutal hours and brutal standards, all in the name of the coveted EIB.

This morning was the final test... after over 300 started, there were less than 40 something soldiers embarking on the 12 mile road march in full battle rattle. Three hours of marching, running, slugging it out to make this week's worth of punishment worth it. And you know what? By the time they were coming on into the homestretch? It was already 82 degrees.

I drove Swiss in to work not a half hour ago, and when I dropped him off, I was held at the intersection by a guard to let these EIB soldiers cross the road on their way to the finish. The driver's seat in our sedan suddenly became a front row seat to one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever witnessed.

To my right, near headquarters, every unit was in formation in their PTs, with flags flying, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the EIB soldiers from their unit. They were joined by the proud wives and kids of these troops... all waiting to see the familiar face they came to cheer on. And every time a new soldier crested the hill, bogged down by their helmet and body armor, hands tired from carrying their M4 for three hours, feet dragging from the relentless 12 mile march.... the crowds roared and that troop's unit broke formation. The cheers and clapping were almost deafening. Those soldiers ran, no, sprinted to their soldier and started running/marching with him shouting and clapping the entire way. They cheered him on, motivated him in those last brutal 200 yards, encouraged him and urged him on to the finish. You could literally see the candidate's morale soar, their cadence quicken, their shoulders straighten. You could see it working. It was beautiful and it made my heart soar. I wish you all could have seen it.

The pride and the Esprit de Corps was nearly overwhelming... the joy and exuberance these soldiers had when their soldier came into the home stretch was palpable and they weren't afraid to show it to anyone who was watching. It actually made me a bit misty, to see these battle-hardened men cheering and running like kids again, all to support a member of the unit in attaining the EIB.

There is no telling how many of these men made the required time. Im sure Swiss will have the update when he gets home. But I suppose, in this story and for me, that isn't the point. It was the unity and the pride and the unconditional, unabashed support. Really, truly, it was magical. And I feel so lucky to have seen it.

Here's hoping every last one of them passed. And to those who did? Congratulations... and enjoy the hell out of your weekend. Hooah.

Interview with a...

Vampire? No.

JROTC Instructor? Yep.

So, tomorrow is a big day in the Tucker and Swiss household. Swiss has his preliminary interview for the JROTC application process. If he nails it, his application gets approved and his information will be passed on to the schools with openings in the states we have selected and we can get on with planning the rest of our lives. If not, well, our Battleship will be at least semi-sunk.

No pressure, right?

Now, I'm not worried about it per se. Swiss is a champ and quite personable, plus he has that whole "Johnny-on-the-spot" thing going for him. He interviews very well and always has the right thing to say on the tip of his tongue. (Unlike me, who once actually said "SOL" in an interview and then was asked to explain what that means. Whoopsies.) Plus he has great experience with positions like this and his record is impeccable. I am relatively confident that this interview will go well and that we will be able to move forward in the process and hopefully have concrete interviews/job offers in the coming month or two. But, if you like, feel free to send any good ju-ju our way tomorrow mid-morning!

In other Army news, Swiss's unit has hit the "glide" path for the next deployment. I suppose you are wondering why we should care, seeing as how Swiss has an approved retirement set for the end of this year... am I right? Well, the deal is this: Swiss is cutting it close as far as wether or not he will fall into the  stop-loss window. Wha? You thought they did away with that pesky stop-loss thingy? Well, not really. Not for guys trying to retire! Jokes on us! In fact, the douchey lovely Army can still stop his retirement and keep him for an additional year (which of course would be far more than a year because of the deployment) if they deem him necessary to the unit and their mission.  Hahahhahahahhah. Head*desk. And bring me a box of wine with a reeeealllly big straw. Of course there are exceptions, but none of them apply to us unless we somehow manage to get our household good shipped to a new location before the stop-loss window hits, which would require a job so send that good ju-ju for Swiss' interview please!!!

I'm, surprisingly, not freaking out just yet. Swiss claims the odds are in our favor since he's sort of an 'extra' in the unit and isn't directly responsible for anyone/anything in light of his pending retirement so the odds of him being deemed essential to the unit are low. But then again, this is the Army we are talking about and nothing is ever logical or predictable when it comes to this stuff. And you never know when he'll be tagged to take over a unit or some other insanity, thus rendering him unit essential. In any regard, I'm sort of trying to ignore this little tid-bit for the time being and will save the panic and anguish and devastation (not to mention mourning for the 'normal' life we've been fantasizing about) for a time when the situation is set in stone. Which hopefully won't ever happen. Cross them fingers folks!

So yeah, now you are all up-to-date with the insanity here. Keep that good ju-ju coming ladies... we need it!!!

** Note: If you comment and don't see it show up... its because there is something awry with blogger... but rest assured, I'm getting your comments. I am sure they will show up on the blog soon! Thanks! **

Distractions.

So, this weekend we have stuff planned! With other Army couples! Like, hanging out and BBQs and going to lunch! HOORAY!

And in case you were wondering, yes, I am totally welcoming the distraction from thinking about wether or not I'm going to be a failure as a parent and precisely how we are going to get Kid A back on track. But I digress.

Yes, Army Friends! In all this time I've been with Swiss, our living apart hasn't really helped us foster Army Friends. Sure, we went to social functions with co-workers, sure we stopped by his ROTC boss' house for a beer or two now and again... but we really haven't been able to cultivate the kind of friends who you have BBQs with and hang out with regularly. Finally, we have.

I find this process, the one of finding folks you want to hang out with outside of work, to be utterly fascinating. We've all heard of (or maybe lived) the horror stories of folks that seem cool but are actually crazy and then won't leave you alone and you have to sneak around just to hang out with other people. Not fun. And, I think, when you get older and have your friends established, it makes it harder to reshuffle and make room for someone new... especially when the ones you have are already so amazing. Am I wrong?

I've also found it interesting that the hubs has asked me why I'm so hesitant to make friends here, and instead choose to rely on my old (I say that lovingly and with no implication of age) friends and internet buddies for banter, consolation, and general discussion. My response to him was twofold: First, I've always been- in my natural state- one of the girls who doesn't have a TON of friends. I have superficial acquaintances, a couple of friends, and just a small handful of folks who reside in my inner circle. So I never have had the huge drive to be Miss Popularity and be doing coffees and lunch dates and what-have-you with just anyone. I already have the awesomest friends, thankyouverymuch. Second, cultivating friendships is HARD. It takes time and it is a delicate process to navigate. With my old friend and my internet buddies, it is just EASIER. We've already done that stuff- so we can get on with the fun stuff like a night of pedicures, Indian Food and movies (Hi Shari!), or a day at the pool with the kids and a BBQ on the new deck (Hi Emily!), or hanging out on the kitchen counter or deck drinking wine and eating cheese laughing at how awesome her kids are (Hi Val!) or watching copious amounts of basketball while eating Chipotle after a day of shopping for new shoes, a new kitchen and David Bromstad approved lighting fixtures (Hi Beth! MISS YOU!!!).

Also, the beauty of the internet friendships I've built over the past few years, is that all that awkward stuff has already been covered. We've gotten to know one another over time, we've shared incredibly stories via blogs or networks, we've become a part of each other's lives. So now, when we do actually get to hang out in real life, it's like we skipped dates 1-7 and are already comfortable hanging out. (Thanks Amy, for that super analogy, and yes, hanging out with you was totally like date 8, so glad we did it!) This is why I never had any hesitation when a few internet MilSpouses wanted to get together for a weekend, I already felt like I knew them. And this is how I was able to add another amazing, talented, wonderful gal into my inner circle of bestest friends (Hi Brittany! Love ya!) But, again, I digress.

The point is, making new friends at new posts isn't ever easy. It isn't easy to identify the folks that you think you will want to hang out with. It isn't always easy to gauge how interested those folks are in making new friends or welcoming a new couple into the fold. There is a certain leap of faith you must make, a certain amount of risk you accept, and hopefully after a night of BBQ and beers and the Pioneer Woman's BBQ jalapeno poppers (my contribution to the night's festivities), you are still willing to spend a few hours of your weekend with these folks. And, if a good friend is the end result? Those risks are well worth it.

So, here's to new friends and making the best of a PCS. And to BBQ. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Dressy.

I found one! Here she be... and best yet Only $115 at the Outlet Mall. Hooah!

If you can't tell, it is a dark peacock-tealish color. It's pretty simple but the jewelly things on the front and the rusching (sp?) on the back is surprisingly flattering. So yay! It's done! And since I saved so much on the dress? New shoes here I come!

But I don't wanna!!!!

Oh the ball. The unit ball.

We SO weren't going to go. Decision made, moving on. No schmancy dresses, no forced fun with people we don't know, no awkward conversations with folks more interested in Harley-Davidsons than ANYTHING else. Phew!

And then today I got the call. We are going to the ball. He even gave me the Party line about it all when I asked him, in my best 8 year old tone, but whhhhhhhhy?

So here I go, with less than 2 weeks to find a formal dress in a town that has only a GAP and a Dillard's (of which you KNOW half the other women going are shopping at, am I right?). So online shopping I go. And here is where I need your help, faithful readers, what is my general goal here? Here are my questions:
-Is floor length a must?
-How glitzy do I go?
-Color? Black? What DOES go with that odd shade of Army green?
-And most importantly- I need your tips on how to get through this without needing counseling and/or copious amounts of wine?

Okay- so wish me luck and send your good shopping karma to the Online Shopping Gods with my name attached!

Oh, the things you get excited over.

Yes, the deployment is (blessedly) coming to a draw. Wonder of wonders, this year is almost over. Well, year plus. But I digress. I am over the moon at the prospect of Swiss coming home... but as I have said before, I've had a hard time with it just not feeling real yet. I attribute 99% of this to the fact that we haven't had even a tentative return date. What dates they have given us, in true Army fashion, have bounced around the way Paris Hilton party hops.

Of course, we have our flight number, but that too has thus far been nothing but a number. No time or date or any information at all attached to. And that's been okay. I mean, its not like he won't get a flight, it is just information we don't have yet. Ergo, hard to get all Squee! about his homecoming.

BUT. This morning, I saw on Twitter (I'll explain THAT one in a bit) that the flight before his finally got a date and time. FINALLY! That means his flight is next in line for a date and time assignment! See! THESE are the things we get excited about. The flight before my husband's getting assigned a date and time. Silly. But also? Thrilling! We are getting closer folks!!!

Now, about the Twitter situation. Sigh. The Twitter. I like Twitter. It is like IM with dozen of folks all at once. Both mind boggling and awesome. But here's the deal. About a month ago we got an e-mail from our FRG and the Division that told us we would get our soldier's flight number from them (the soldier) and then have to rely on the Division's web site and Twitter for date and time updates. Seriously. They told us in no uncertain terms that the FRG was not to be called as they were not being given any of this information. It was all between us, the Division site and Twitter updates. Does this bug anyone else? No actual person to call with questions? Posting this information online? I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me. Not that I have any choice, but yes, that is the Twitter situation.

Anywhoodles, yes, color me excited! We're almost done!!!

The new me?

As I sit here at my desk (still on Swiss' PC) contemplating the weeks and days ahead, the unknowing, the questions, the constant state of "I don't know" in our lives... I am struck by the general calm I have about all of it. Do I get annoyed? Sure (see my last post if you want evidence of that!). Do I get frustrated at times or angry? Yep. But it is almost always fleeting. It comes and it goes and that is it. The emotional outbursts are few and far between, there have been few, if any, tears shed over the uncertainty of Swiss's return. I just put my head down and keep going, only halting to bitch on occasion, then the head goes back down and I keep on trucking. This, in a nutshell, has been the majority of the deployment.

I certainly don't contend that I am special or different from any other MilSpouse for the way I've gotten through this. Not a chance. I know what I'm doing is just par for the course. But what I do contend is that this deployment, this Army life, this war has changed me. It has made me different. I cope differently, I react differently, I move on more quickly, I respond to situations differently, I sigh and regroup and keep going because I've come to terms with the fact that I have little to no say in all of this.

Now, I wouldn't call myself high-maintenance or anything pre-deployment. But I was the sort of weepy kind, the one who tended to mentally obsess over every detail, the kind that would get at least a knot in my stomach with every new curve ball the Army sent out way. I cried every time Swiss left (he lived in another state while we were dating). I cried even thinking about the deployment or the PCS or well, anything (part of which is normal pre-deployment-anticipatory-grief stuff). But suffice it to say, I let the Army's changes to our life highly dictate my mood, emotions, outlook. I couldn't figure out how to avoid it. The prospect of extra days away from Swiss left me a blubbering mess. Just thinking about the deployment, the possible changes that could come, the Army jerking us around, the uncertainty of it all resulted in me constantly dancing around the edges of full on tears and anguish and nearly consuming frustration. Gaw, that does make me sound high maintenance. (I will say that only a few people actually had to deal with this, so maybe that helps?)

The point is that this deployment, this 12+ months of suck that is slowly drawing to a close, this THING that took over our life... it has changed me. It has changed how I deal and cope and I sort of find this fascinating. At 30/31 you would think that these things, how you 'deal', are set in stone... that things like this only further cement your way of dealing with it all. I guess I thought that this experience would only hone my skill set, not give me a new one. I was wrong. Which is refreshing. I'm glad that I learned something in all of this, that I got better at things, that something good came out of this. Though I suppose your definition of "good" would have a lot to do with it.

I remember when Swiss and I were dating, and I would cry every time he had to leave and he wouldn't. He told me he didn't really get it, because we both knew he was coming back eventually. He said that he'd just had to say so many bigger, worse goodbyes... that I would understand after the deployment. And boy, was he right. I look back on some of those times and feel positively silly. But at the time, that was the worst thing I'd experienced. Now? I've dealt with so much worse, I feel like if I were to go back and relive those moments, I would have handled them SO differently.

Now I feel like I approach these dramas and uncertainties and fears with a new found toughness and determination. I'm wiser and have much, much better perspective (something I will admit I was greatly lacking). I am more rational and matter-of-fact... I've truly learned how to deal with the things I can't change (this is a skill I thought I had years ago, but never really grasped). I have new found tenacity and calmness, two things that when paired together render you practically fearless. I know that whatever it is, it could be worse. I know that I really can handle all the crap life throws at us. With strength and grace and poise. And that is pretty awesome. So thank you Army, for making me stronger (Army Strong?! *groan*) and tougher and for the one good thing that has come out of this deployment.

But we don't have to do it again, mmmkay?

Feasting on asphalt.

****UPDATE****
Okay, so the snow in the Midwest totally FUBAR'd my plans. I'm still here at home being held hostage by the great (ahem) states of IL and MO. I am hoping to leave tomorrow, and more than that I'm hoping that the housing office will be sympathetic and understanding and give me a new appointment on Tuesday. And the cable company too. BOO HISS.
Anyway, that's the update. Eff you snow!
**** UPDATE****


Just can't wait to get on the road again... something, something, with my friends... I can't wait to get on the road again! do, de, doo, de, dooo, do, dooooooooooooo. Or something like that...

As you probably have guessed, today is the big day. The truck is packed, Fletcher is set to ride shotgun and do his best Goose to my Maverick, and we are heading South. This PCS? It ain't gonna know what hit it! (Okay, at the rate we've been going, that isn't at all going to be true, but hey, positive thinking!)

The truck is stuffed to the gills like a proper Chipotle burrito (juuuuuuuust about to burst, and btw? YUM.), plenty of snack are stashed away for the both of us, and many, many miles of interstate are stretched out just waiting for us. I'm certain we will get a wide sampling of the spectacular array of rest stops, gas stations and junk food this country has to offer and rest assured, there will be pictures. Also, I'm sort of giddy about the prospect of 2 straight days of McDonald's and Burger King (maybe even the occasional Hardee's/Carl's Jr!). Score!?

Anyway, wish us safe travels, pray for good weather, and we will catch you on the flip-side... Live! From Fort X! (that should have sounded like the intro to Dancing with the Stars if you said it right.)

LiveBlogging the PCS: Part 12-ish, or Shoot Me Now.

Okay, so this is it: The Final Countdown. Or so I thought. In actuality, it is just one more asinine speed bump in a process that I am 110% confident doesn't have to be as complicated as the Army has made it. Let me correct that: This situations categorically would NOT be near as complicated if we were choosing to live off post. Which at this point is seeming like a better and better option. Ugh. But I better back up and explain myself...

On one hand: We have housing!

On the other: We can't do a damned thing to prepare, schedule, or arrange our move in. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. And I get to go 7+ days without my stuff in an empty house.

See, I just got off the phone with the office of the housing development we are assigned to. They can tell me that the house we will move into has a fenced in back yard (yay!), but they can't tell me the address until maintenance hands the house back over to them. And they don't know when that will be. And they can't do anything for me or give me any other information until that time. Which, again, they don't know.

None of this would be an issue, other than the fact that all of our stuff is in storage down there. I can't schedule delivery until I have an address. And it takes around 7 days to get your stuff after you've called the office. Yup. 7 days. 7 days with no bed, no TV, no couch, no dishes, no microwave, nothing. With the New Year Holiday throwing in a few (3) extra non-working days... which may very well make that 7 business days more like 10 or 11. Thank Maude I packed an air mattress, shower curtain, sheets and towel.

The other bonus to this situation? They can't actually tell me when I am going to be able to take residency. They told me that the "goal date" for me to get down there (mind you, this is a 20+ hour/2 day drive for me so I can't just *poof* show up there) is still the 29th, but there are no guarantees. So I guess I'm going to have to get some reservations at the on-post lodging? Hooray. And by that I mean not.

I find this all so unbelievably frustrating and beyond ridiculous. Pray tell, why can't they give us the address, if only to be able to schedule delivery of our stuff ahead of time? But then again, why would I want to do that? Camping in my new house with a dog for 7-10 sounds like a riot. And by that I mean not. Good God- what if I had kids??? What if we were a family of 5 trying to move in? And how did anyone ever think this was the best way to do this?

I guess this is one of those "undies-in-a-bundle" Army moments for me. I'm pretty damned understanding of all the bullshit the Army puts us through. But this one? Not at all. We are uprooting our entire lives, our home, everything we own is in storage. I've been living out of suitcases for almost 6 weeks now. I would think the very effing least they could do would be help us make this transition as fast, easy and un-stressful as possible. Instead I'm calling 6 different numbers to the Transportation Office (none of which work) to try to see if this is really how it works and dealing with an uppity and utterly useless contact at the Community Housing Office.

My next calls will be to the Rear D to see if anyone can help. I refuse to believe that this is the status quo and that families moving down there are routinely waiting 7-ish days to get their stuff moved in. I refuse to believe that there is no way I can get the address of our new home ahead of time so that delivery can be scheduled. I refuse to believe that I have to be physically present at Fort X in order to schedule delivery. And I refuse to believe that the Army cares this little about families. But then again, I've been wrong about the Army before.

Ugh. Is this over yet??? Please???

Thanksgiving.

So, this is my obligatory Thanksgiving post... HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!

Okay, that's out of the way now. I've been decidedly "Bah Humbug" about all of the holidays and pre-holiday cheer. Not that I'm not thankful for my family, my amazing friends, the awesome support you've all given me, for Swiss, for our health, for life -all in all- being pretty great. But also, I'm tired. I am tired and weary and so very blase about all of it... this deployment, missing Swiss, doing the holiday thing "alone". I think I was pretty naive about the holidays going into this deployment. Nope, check that, I know I was. Somewhere along the line I think I figured that since we would be so, so close to the end of the deployment by the time the holidays rolled around I'd be fine with it.

News flash: I'm not.

I don't mean to be all Debbie Downer about it all because I do have a lot to be thankful for and I do have a great family that is doing its best to keep me entertained and cheerful during this last chunk of the deployment. Its just that, somehow, being so close to the end has magnified the suck of being away from Swiss this holiday season. Oh well. Can't change it, right? And next year will be better. And we are almost done with this. And, after all, at least I have someone as amazing as Swiss to miss during this time. How was that for a pep talk?

Anyway, after all that mopey drivel... I really, truly want to say a heartfelt THANK YOU to each and every one of you, dear readers. You've brought kindness, wisdom, humor, support, and new friendships to my life this past year plus and I am SO grateful for all of you. So go enjoy this holiday season with the ones you love, and if you are in the same boat as me... know that next year will be better! Promise!

So have a stellar Thanksgiving... eat a lot, watch TV, and laugh til you can't anymore. And Thank You!

Love,
Tucker

LiveBlogging the PCS: Part Eleventy-million.

Ugh. The housing. So we've been on the official wait list since round about August... I wanted to be ahead of the curve and at the top of the list when the time came. I sent about 10 different documents, navigated the most un-user-friendly housing application site, signed away our first born child and then waited. And waited.

This week the waiting is over. I called down to the Fort X housing office and, after a few of the good old "No, call this person." "No, not that person, THIS person." "No, you need to talk to the first person you were in contact with 4 months ago.", I got the guy. And then I had to send 4 more documents, sign away our 2nd through 6th born children and I got us a house. But not really. I got offered a house in below grade housing which isn't soooo bad, but is way far away from Swiss' work so not idea. Also? 2 story. No thanks. But don't think me picky... the real reason I said no was that even though (all along) I've asked for a move in date after Christmas, this move in date was the 17th of December. Which means Christmas all alone in a new place. No family, no husband, no friends. No thanks... I might be a tough Army wife, but I ain't that tough!

Thankfully my housing liaison dude is awesome (and understanding) and he said he'd keep an eye out in the next two weeks for not only a better date, but a house in our preferred community. These, my friends, are the benefits to getting on the list super duper early (which means at the current moment we are at the tippy top of the list) and calling 2 weeks prior to the "suggested" time of 1 month pre-move in (this is what gave us the two weeks to wait for something better). Those Girl Scouts were right... Be Prepared!!!

So my message to you about to embark on your own journey to procuring On-Post housing? Do it early. Get your paperwork in months ahead of time if you can. Build a relationship with your housing liaisons. Be nice (this one is extra important). And do everything about two weeks sooner than they tell you to.

I'll keep y'all posted as to how it turns out. Cross your fingers for us and hopefully by this time next week I'll have a new address in a new location that makes us all happy... with a good move-in date to boot!

Update: Swiss

Well, that chain of communication was a (well intentioned) big, fat fail. Turns out Swiss never actually had surgery... he's just been getting IV antibiotics and bed rest all this time. Sleeping. Hence the lack of calls.

And here I thought he was in some sort of induced coma while a man-eating bacteria was eating him inside out. Seriously.

So yes, he is recovering and doing well. He finally got un-attached from his IV bags (yes, there were multiple) and was able to call me. I almost cried when I heard his voice. But I had my big-girl britches on and kept it together. But now he is fine, still recovering, and I ended up being the one to give the Colonel his update. How bass ackwards is that I ask?

But I digress... thanks to all of you for your kind words, good juju and support. We can all breathe a bit easier now.

Sigh. Deployment? You can feel free to be over any time now... just sayin'.

Fort Hood.

Fort Hood is a place Swiss and I are quite familiar with... I won't go into the details of our relationship to Fort Hood because they aren't important... but my heart is breaking for those who were lost in this senseless, horrific and terrifying crime. I can't understand how this happened. I can't understand how someone would or could do this to their own.

As I watch the news, I think back to my emotional state, where my head was at, my fears and concerns as Swiss was preparing for his deployment... as he was making his way through the same preparations as the soldiers who lost their lives were doing yesterday. Never in my deepest, darkest thoughts would I have worried about something like this. I can't fathom the pain and angst and heartbreak of those families. I can't imagine the distrust, betrayal, the rage of those service members. And I can't understand why. Why???

If you are in or around the Fort Hood area... please do all you can to help. Donate blood if you can (OIF/OEF vets cannot donate), find a family in need and do whatever you can, call up anyone you know there to make sure they are okay. And send all of your prayers, good juju, karma, whatever to the families who are dealing with pain I cannot imagine.