On Vacation...

The Bridge, originally uploaded by Tucker&Swiss.

This is different from the hiatus... more fun and in a cooler locale! I'm off to San Francisco and will be out of the loop until Friday. Have a super week everyone and keep sending your good real estate juju our way... we still need it in spades (and send some to LAW too, we're all gettin' cozy in this boat). Take care all!

And the saga continues...

So, how did I spend my weekend? With the flu. Awesome, right? On the plus side, all the nausea and inability to eat without feeling miserable acted as a makeshift diet pre R&R and I dropped 3 pounds. Woo hoo. Also, I got to watch 7.5 consecutive hours of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. God bless you TBS.

The saga that is the selling of our house continues. We have been *ahem* "blessed" to have not only an inexperienced buyer (which is okay because I was inexperienced too when I bought my first house and would hardly consider myself an expert of any kind these days) but also, apparently, an inexperienced agent. No, not mine. She's been mostly great. But the buyer's agent apparently has no idea what do to in this situation and has been sending pointless and unreasonable requests via e-mail (aka: not in the formal response of an offer, etc). So we had been treading water, getting closer and closer to the closing date with a buyer who would not look for a new bank or submit an official request for a change to the offer. Ugh. So despite my last post, and in the hopes of either coming to a concrete decision or having more time back on the market, we put out our final (and very reasonable) offer to the buyer yesterday. It was in no uncertain terms. Take it or leave it. He has until the end of business today to decide.

So... I'll either be sprucing up the house tonight to have it ready to be shown again this week or finally able to breathe a sigh of relief that this ordeal is 'behind' us. At this rate? Either one is okay by me. Tomorrow I leave for San Francisco to hang out with Beth and hopefully get to meet up with Burn my Biscuits. The camera is back and in working order so I'll have plenty of quality times with the sights of the city by the bay and my trusty DSLR. Now, on to the business to getting well enough to eat my body weight in sushi... Happy Monday all!

Blogworthy.

REVELATION: In regards to the current situation we are in with the buyer... if this were a game of tennis (wherein I would be a Rafa Nadal type and he would be the 114th Ranked player who eeked into the tournament) the ball would be in his court. Any move on my part would a) make me look like a moron and b) upset the balance of the game. Hunh?

To this I say: WHO KNEW? (Answer: me, obviously!)

Somehow I have contorted the situation into being my issue (something about my house not appraising high enough so I had to do something to remedy the situation) and not his which resulted in much gnashing of teeth and near-ulcer inducing stress. So, per the recommendation of our Agent... we are proceeding as dictated by our signed and legally binding Purchase Agreement and heading towards our closing date of October 5th. Until we hear differently from them, its business as usual. And that thud you heard? It was the massive weight on my shoulders falling to the floor, through it and into the basement.

In the interest of full disclosure, this whole thing could fall apart like a house of cards, but we are prepared to put it back on the market (begrudgingly) to hopefully snag a less batshitcrazinsane buyer if need be. Our Agent is confident it will sell just fine, especially if we lower the price a bit ('round about the number where we would still break even).

So, color me relieved. As hokey as it sounds, I feel like someone has breathed life back into me... like I can finally focus on something, anything else. It is good to be back. Let's just hope its a nice long stay...

Thanks for your patience and kind words and support through all of this. Y'all are rock stars!

Twitterfied update.

Apparently I can only formulate thoughts that are 140 characters or less. Twitter has corroded my brain. But I digress... here's the update in 140 characters or less:

Glee! Maybe dead camera? Appraiser is the devil. Moving date set. Trip to SanFran next week. Going to loose lotsa $ on house. Wine is good.

There. Now you've been updated. In 140 characters or less. Twitter FTW!

Hiatus.

Hey all.

Don't worry... it won't be long. I just need to take a break. I'm feeling rather threadbare and need some time to either refocus or regroup, I can't tell which one yet. Maybe both. I just feel like I don't have the energy or the spirit or the gumption to turn all this stuff into coherent thoughts that are either humorous, informative, or worthwhile to read. So I'm just going to hold off on the posting for a bit.

Then again, maybe y'all are my therapy and I won't be able to go more than the weekend without blogging. We'll see. But for now... I just need a breather. I need to focus on me and get over the funk I've been in and find a better way to deal with all the stuff that has been going on. I'll still be around, reading y'all's blogs and stuff. Just not posting here.

Hope y'all understand. I promise I won't be long.

Take care and have a great weekend.

Weekend intentions.

So, this has been a week. We still don't know anything about the house/appraiser/offer/sold-not-sold situation. It is sort of killing me to not know, but also, if they are still working on it, then what is there to report? No resolution yet. And so far, (knock on wood) the buyer is still all in. Seeing as how it took the appraiser almost a week to do his thing last time, I'm guessing next week is as good as we can hope for. I'm proceeding with the PCS steps in a leap of blind faith. So the moving company is coming through next week for a walk-through. I am continuing my cataloguing of what comes with me, what goes, what is too precious to trust to a random stranger. I think all of this is in the hopes that if I just keep going, things will work out. I'm not stressing out, just, you know, plodding along with the hopes that things won't go horribly awry in the near (or distant) future. Y'all, I'm gonna need you to keep your fingers crossed for us!

But that brings me to this weekend. My intentions? So far, tonight I plan to talk to Swiss, go get some pumpkin beer and supplies for White Russians, snag some dinner and tuck in to watch Marie Antoinette and Pan's Labyrinth in the hopes of getting inspired to do some artwork (think sketches, pen & ink stuff). Tomorrow I get to haul all of Swiss's hunting gear up from the basement and into the truck for transport and storage at the in-law's house. The perk? Helga will feed me a hearty, cream & butter filled, German dinner. Yum. Then Sunday I am making baked beans for a get-together with friends. These baked beans. Bacon! Monday... nothing. Blissful, sweet nothing. All in all, it should be a good, relaxing weekend for me to chill out, decompress and gear up for the next 6-ish weeks of madness until R&R comes.

What are y'all up to? Either way, I hope each of you have a wonderful long weekend!

Ah ha! New Army Math, explained.

So, my lovely Transportation Officer Cinnamon (yes, that is really her name, but she is nice and patient and I really do like the spice so I'm going with it) called me up this morning to explain why a move that is 110 miles closer will in fact cost us $765. Are you ready for this?

Apparently, the Government sets a nation-wide rate for all moving companies, what they will get paid when they do these Government moves. And, apparently many of the movers from the different states don't think that rate is enough. So each of them have these supplemental rates to get each individual state's movers up to the rate that they are comfortable with. Aaaand, apparently the state we currently live in has a rate that is 25% higher than the state Swiss used to live in. Even though they are right next door and, yeah, this is bullshit and makes no sense to me and I hate this state for so, so many reasons now!

However, my annoyance being vented, I am not upset with the Transportation Office... it isn't their fault and Cinnamon was super nice about it. I just think this is lame. The state we live in is lame. The movers from this state are lame. And I think it is lame how everyone and their cat has their hands (er... paws?) in my pockets. Can you tell I've reached maximum density? At this point I just want to be down at Fort X with all this ridiculousness behind me, my husband home and no more drama. Bwahahahahaha. Not for another 5 months Sucker!

Anyway, we are waiting to hear back about all the appraisal/offer/real estate madness. Swiss and I are both just SO over it. We just want to make this deal work, take our lumps and move on. So what if we loose a bunch of money. I just won't get the new car I've been eyeing up and researching for the past year. No big deal. This is how life works... but I just want it to be OVER already. I'll keep y'all posted but in the mean time, please send us all the good juju you can muster! Thanks everyone!

Army math?

So would someone please tell me how this "new" Army math works? Obviously I haven't been an Army Wife long enough to understand Army Math... So here's your homework folks:

Let's assume that the distance from our current home to Fort X is exactly 1,103 miles.

And, the distance from Swiss's old duty station to Fort X is exactly 1,213 miles.

Then, how does the cost of a PCS from here cost us (out of pocket) $756.00 more than a PSC from the previous duty station that is, in fact, 110 miles further from our final destination?

According to my civilian math, the cost of driving a moving truck down 110 LESS miles of Interstate A from our house to Fort X is $6.78 per mile. You know, as opposed to driving Highway B for an extra 110 miles only to join up with the same Interstate A? Hmm. I'm confused. Now clearly my civilian brand of math is lacking a certain je nes sais quoi that Army math because those numbers of mine just don't add up. I'm hoping some of you have some insight into how this Army math works, because math wasn't ever my strong suit, so I'm purrty confused about this here PPSO stuff.

Needless to say this discrepancy has been, tactfully, brought to the attention of our PSC officer. I'm tres interested to see what she has to say about this Army math business...

WTF? (aka: BANKS ARE THE DEVIL)

In a turn of events that is making me question the status of my cosmic Karma, our appraisal has failed. (Seriously- What DID I do???) And by failed, I mean the dude sent by the (EVIL) bank appraised our house at the same value it was appraised at 2 years ago (which is about $10,000 less than the sale price). Even though we remodeled the kitchen and everyone & their mom thinks the price is right. So... the accepted offer? In jeopardy. The calmness and serenity of being done with the house drama? Poof. GONE. The anxiety, worry and stress of getting this fixed, sold and done with once and for all? Back with a vengeance.

Our realtor claims it isn't time to panic yet (HA! She didn't just submit her PPSO forms requesting to be moved out of said house on the 1st of October and signed papers formally resigning her position at work on the 16th of October.). She found the comps we based our price on, she submitted paperwork detailing the work that has been done on the house and apparently the buyer's agent is working to fix this too. All hands are on deck to try and right this ship. But honestly, my outlook is grim. (Oh, and let's NOT get into the fact that this whole mess is happening solely because the EVIL banks offered sub-prime lending which caused this housing crash and now they are screwing ME and everyone else over by under-appraising houses in order to cover their own asses. Color me LIVID.)

I do not know what to do now. Save cry, knit, drink, cry some more, and pray to anyone upstairs who is listening for a teensey bit of help on this one. I know Swiss, bless his heart, will just say to do whatever we have to do in order to get the sale done with... even if it means loosing more money. I can honestly say that at this point, I'm in total agreement with him. Anyway, if you have some spare time, throw out some good financial juju my way. And if you know what I did to mess up my Karma so spectacularly, drop me a line because I'd really like to know...

PS- As an added bonus, the PPSO office just called to inform me that our move will cost us $1,000 out of pocket because he was single and living in another state when he got his PCS orders, even though he didn't report to his new duty station until after we got married. Our current home is further away from our new duty station than his last duty station was so yep, we get to absorb that cost. Wheeee! LOOK AT ME! I AM MADE OF MONEY!!!

J-O-B.

Sooo. It's been like 3 weeks since I applied for the Cytotechnologist position at Fort X. Complete with Military Spouse Preference.

I've heard nothing. Nada.


All I know is the nice Army HR folks at Fort Belvoir (Why, hello base envy! How are you today?) forwarded on my resume to the folks at Fort X, and I haven't heard a peep from anyone since. Best I can guess? The mid-level management position I've been doing the last 1+ years and the ridiculous fancy testing my current employer has us doing (which few other Cytotechs/Labs do) has landed me in the "Overqualified" bin. Now, I DO NOT say this to toot my own horn (I said toot!). I say this because with 5 years of experience, a major medical center on my resume, and Spouse Preference... you would think I would at least be able to garner myself an interview. Nope. No beans.

So where to go from here? I don't want to stay in this field anyway, I want to move on and do something that a) doesn't make me sad and depressed (cancer has a way of getting to you when you work with it all day long) and b) lets me use my creativity and biology degree more fully. But then what do I do? (Raise you hand if you are now singing an 80's song that I can't name right now.) High school biology teacher? Full on Biologist? Work for the CDC? The EPA? Or do I totally change things up and go get an Art degree? Do photography professionally? Find a way to mix the art and the biology? And how, after 6 years dedicated to another field, do I get the necessary experience to get a job that pays more than $JustLessThanDestitute.00/hr?

See, if all goes as planned, Swiss and I won't be at Fort X (knock on wood) for even a full year. So I won't have enough time to get my teaching certification. Nor will I have enough time to go back and get a Masters or whatever in Biology. So... I'm left with either not working (okay by me!) or trying to, at the very least, scrounge up some entry-level work that will help me out in the non-medical lab experience category. Sounds awesome, right? Ha! But... in this vein, a "seasonal biologist" position opened up at Fort X with the Nature Conservancy. And I am all like, Woah. They are a HUGE force to be reckoned with in the conservation biology realm (PS: In case you didn't know, my college major was Ecology, Evolution & Behavioral Biology. NERD ALERT!) and would be awesome to have on my resume. It runs November - April cataloguing and studying migrating sparrow populations on Fort X and is 100% entry-level. Not exactly thrilling stuff, but still... experience, a good name for the resume, and a pretty amazing company to work for (let's not talk about the $20/hr pay cut, the getting up at sunrise or working weekends bit though, okay?).

So, I'm going to apply (I think). Thankfully they requested a cover letter (unlike the cytotechnologist job at Fort X) so I can explain myself and why I suddenly want an entry-level job wandering through the scrub brush mist-netting birds and taking blood samples after 5 years at a leading medical center. It ain't glamorous, but if I'm lucky, it could be a good first step to reinventing my career... which is a pretty cool opportunity if you ask me. Now, where are my hiking boots and hip packs?

Shedding.

No, not Fletcher. Though to be fair, the does DOES shed something fierce. It boggles my mind how he isn't bald. And also, I'm pretty sure that if we collected all of his fur out of the vacuum cleaner, we would be able to clone him in less than 2 weeks... not even Dolly style, like Adam and Eve style. Which is sort of gross now that I think about it... that is a lot of hair. Ugh. But here I am, way off track, less than 3 sentences into this post.

The past few weeks have felt pretty overwhelming. Like the precariously perched tower of stuff looming over my head just kept getting bigger, taller and more unstable, threatening to collapse at any moment. Poor Swiss has had to listen to all of my neuroses, the plethora of ridiculous expectations I've put on myself, and my frustrations with not being able to get things just so. And about my mangled toe. But he's been a rock. He's been a fount of perspective, calmness and practicality. Just as he always is.

With a bit of time and deep breathing and outside perspective (Thanks Britt!) I, quite clearly, saw that he was right about all of it. I need to let go of the things I can't fix, can't schedule and can't will into being. A few dollars here, a few last minute decision there... none of it will cause the world to end. Not having enough towels when I move down to Fort X? That is what the PX is for. Not knowing the details of the move to Fort X? All things that can be handled after R&R. Not having a hotel yet for R&R because we don't have any concrete dates? Small potatoes and an easy last-minute fix.

I need to shed these neuroses. I need to let go. I need to stop trying to be SuperArmyWife. I need to release whatever notion I have of what a good deployed spouse is. Army life doesn't let us plan things that far out, so why stress about it? This deployment means that I have to tackle most things alone, so why make it harder by setting ridiculous expectations for myself? R&R is going to be great no matter where we stay, so why waste time and energy making plans that will likely change 3 or 4 times yet? I need to stay focused on the things I can change. The things I can (and actually NEED) to deal with. The other stuff? I need to let it ride.

Since I've decided to do just that? The weight is so much less, the burden is lifted and this deployment seems 'doable' again (though to be fair, I'm only going on 36 hours-ha!). I can put my focus back where it belongs, on Us. It all feels a lot less scary now... that tower isn't as unstable, isn't as big and isn't as menacing. I can do this.

On gossip, promotions and OPSEC.

So the lame part of this post is that it will be incredibly vague, therefore rendering it almost useless, all in the name of OPSEC. But I think maybe it will help me to just put it out there, no matter how evasive and non-specific it is.

There is gossip coming out of the Sandbox. Which is a new change for our unit, last time both of us heard about it first on Facebook from the FRG. OPSEC FAIL. But I digress. Near as I can tell there are about 5 different iterations of said gossip. New locations, old locations, temporary locations, same locations. Change. No change. New duties, new units, old units, promotions. It is all rolling in hot and heavy... new rumors every day. Some bigger and grander than others. Some wide in scope, some small. And of course, all with about as much credibility as financial advice from Bernie Madoff.

Of course there are implications to many of these changes. Should they take place. Implications that, personally, will likely up the ante so to speak. The likelihood of any of these things coming to fruition is small... but it makes me think long and hard about so, so many things. It makes me realize how 'easy' the past few months have been, honestly, for both of us. It makes me catch my breath, breathe deep, steady myself and repeat over and over again that there is not a single thing I can do to change it. If it will be, it will be. No matter what I think of it. I have found my peace with these rumors and their implications. I have accepted it and will deal with whatever comes our way with as much grace, calmness and objectivity as I can muster.

I have faith in my husband. In his character, his skills, his abilities and the fact that he is a damned good soldier. He can handle anything that comes his way and he will do whatever task is asked of him with the benefit of years of experience and his calculating, analytical perspective that I've grown to admire and respect. All I can do is sit back, wait for word, and have faith that no matter what happens, he will do his job to the best of his ability (whatever that job may be) and do everything in his power to come home safe and sound.

I have been pretty even keel in the wake of all these rumors. I have been able to keep my head about me and see the big picture, see that I can't change anything in all of this and that all it is, as of this moment, are words being batted around like a dozen beach ball on graduation day. But it doesn't take much to chip away at the protective shell of my carefully constructed cocoon of serenity and zen. It might be a photograph (like these), a short video, a turn of a phrase in a news piece, a passing thought that lingers too long. Then the doubt and worry and fear start to seep in. Today, I am the little girl with her finger plugging the leak in the dam. So far it is working. I just pray that there are no further reasons for that leak to grow into something much bigger and much more menacing...

And please, if for some reason you think what I wrote violates OPSEC, let me know and I will take this post down. As objective as I try to be, I realize that this might come off quite differently to any number of readers, so I welcome your feedback. Thanks...

Friday, I'm in love.

Oh heavens, thank GOD it is Friday!

Last night I did a Jillian Michaels "Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism" video. Holy Hell. That woman tried to kill me. But in all seriousness... it was a kick ass cardio workout for 45 minutes. I totally had to take breaks. I need to build back up to that stuff man. But the things is, I feel good now. I feel like I actually DID something. I feel like I am going to be a hurtin' unit later today. And that is great- because it means it is working. Remind me of this when my quads & hammies are so sore I can't sit down like I'm not in my 3rd trimester. And no, I am NOT in my 3rd trimester. Just in case you were wondering.

This weekend brings finalizing our PPSO documents and scheduling the consultation. I get to make some Gooey Butter Cake (if you have not had this, try it, it is easy and scrumptious!) for "the Germans" who apparently "are coming!" As in, "The Germans are coming!" They are really my MIL's family from the motherland coming stateside for a visit. I haven't met a single one yet, so here's hoping it goes well! I also get to research hotels in town for R&R. I am increasingly thinking this was a LAME idea on my part to close on the house before Swiss came home. But alas, it is already done, so hotel shopping here I come. I'll be shipping off the last pre-R&R care package and sending of my dear, sweet DSLR camera for repairs too.

And also, because this is funny and ridiculous and made me giggle. And the Onion is awesome. Behold:


Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

Happy Friday Everyone!

Because this made me giggle.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Outtake - Basic Training Pt. 3
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Protests

Silver linings.

So things have calmed down here at the Tucker & Swiss household... or maybe the past month has shell-shocked me into believing that normally ridiculous stuff is perfectly status quo. Either way, it is working for me.

I took Swiss's truck in for its 100,000 mile tune up. I figured it would be around $2,000 to get everything done and I was oddly blase about the whole thing. I mean, I was freaking out about the $1,000 we need to bring to closing, but this $2,000? No biggie. WTF?

Anyway, for the first time I played my "Deployment Card" when I dropped it off at the dealership... not because I thought it would net me a discount, but because I hoped it would prevent them from screwing me over. Like a pity play or something. Well guess what? Not only did they not screw me over, but the very nice gentleman I was working with found a way to give us a 25% discount on it all. That's $500 people. Five Hundred Dollars! SWEETNESS!

And one of my closest friends, Val, and her husband are letting me borrow their fancy HD digital video camera to document all of our stuff for the PPSO bit. Fun, no? But still, awesome that I don't have to take 3978 still pictures of our stuff, I can just whirl around the house capturing all of our junk. Rad.

So I guess all of this madness as of late has helped me be so much more Zen about Army life... you know, after all the stuff that has gone down the past few months, I am just so much more "mneh, whatever..." about mostly everything. I'm not sure it is 100% a good thing, but for now I'm chalking it up to a silver lining in the deployment. Hey, I'll take whatever I can get.

Oh, side note. We got one of the monthly HOOAH! Our Unit Rocks! (patent pending) newsletters from the guys in Iraq. I read it. I rolled my eyes no fewer than 8 times and nearly hurled twice. I mean seriously, who are these guys? And why is my husband SO different from them?

I think sometimes I forget that the majority of Army guys are decidedly not like Swiss. Which of course means the Army looses tons of cool points. But still. I can't deal with that brand of guy. Too much machismo. Too much dick swinging (yes, I did just say that, sorry, there's really no other way to make my point...). Too much false bravado. It's like being in a Rambo movie all the time, only with guys who you just know are less like Rambo and more like Tommy Boy (only less funny). Ugh. Anyway, it certainly makes me appreciate the rare breed of soldier I have. Smart, witty, kind, thoughtful and the type of badass who doesn't have to shout about it. Now that is something to be Hooah about.

Decidedly distracted.

Okay, I'm gonna say it: I'm sorry. I know this is my blog and my space and all that jazz, but it wouldn't be half as fun if it weren't for you, dear readers, so I'm sorry I have been so absent and un-posty as of late.

But, I swear I have a good excuse. Wanna guess? Okay, it is 3 letters that stand for an oxymoron. Wha? How did you guess so fast??? Yes, yes it's the PCS. Was it THAT obvious? Oh, of course it was. Sigh.

I am relieved that the house is sold and that I have my notice in at work. So my stress levels are way, way down which is an excellent thing. However, the stress has now been replaced by endless, incessant and all-consuming planning. My mind, literally, cannot rest. ...What comes with me? How many basic items will I need before our stuff gets there? What goes to our in-laws for later transport to Fort X? Do we buy the car now or later? How will I pack things into the truck in winter? Don't forget to take the truck in for a tune up. How many times will I have to pack, load, unpack and reload this stuff? Where will I go if we don't move into housing now? Ooh, go get more storage totes because they will fit in the pickup bed better. When do I move into housing? Don't forget, they need 45 days notice. What if I get that job? Will I have 45 days to give notice? Where do I spend the holidays? Where do we spend R&R? Check into extended stay hotel rates. What will we do with all our stuff when we are homeless and on R&R? Will the dog sit in the front or the back on the way down to Fort X? Oh yes, must get Fletcher microchipped... THIS is what it is like inside my brain right now.

And that is why I can't come up with anything coherent to post other than something along the lines of "OHMYGOD! Whydowehavesomuchstuff!" and "HOW did we end up with 10 TABLE LAMPS?" and "Duuuude. My stuff outnumbers and outweighs Swiss's by a factor of 12 to 1. Whoa." So please forgive me, hopefully these things will all fall into a nice and tidy plan and I can get back to thinking about things like Sitar Hero, starting up Couch to 5K (because watching my husband's butt for 5K is the best motivation I can think of) and how much I like wine.

DC!

DC Collage, originally uploaded by Tucker&Swiss.

Okay, I know this wee blog of mine just got really photo heavy really fast. But alas, there's lots to share!

So, DC was 78 shades of awesome. The company was wonderful (LAW, Army Wife Life & Never Apart in Heart - you ladies are amazing!), the sights were fantastic and I may or may not have fallen in love with the city. And can I just say how flat out great it was to be with other MilSpouses who just get it? Who are going through the same things as me? Who just understand all the lingo, BS and STUFF that goes along with this life of ours? It was delightful.

I will write more about it all later, but heres the lowdown on the photos in the collage:
(L to R, Top to Bottom) Me and the White House, Vietnam War Memorial, Statue at the Vietnam War Memorial, Arlington National Cemetery, Lincoln Memorial, World War II Memorial, Me and Mr. Colbert in the Smithsonian American History Museum, the Changing of the Guard at Arlington National Cemetery, the Washington Monument, Me and some mighty tasty beer, the ladies on the mall, the Korean War Memorial, US Marines Memorial (aka: Iwo Jima), the National Cathedral, the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, and lastly serious on-post housing envy at Fort Belvoir.

Ah ha!

ACU Tree, originally uploaded by Tucker&Swiss.

So THIS is the tree that the ACU's were meant to camoflauge our guys in... too bad they are in the Vietnam War Memorial in DC. Hmm.

BOOYAH!

SOLD!, originally uploaded by Tucker&Swiss.

Oh noes...

This, my friends, is going to cause some issues in the Tucker and Swiss household.

Swiss? Vikings fan.
Me? Packers fan.
Swiss? Favre fan (because he is under the completely delusional notion that Favre can bring a ring to Minnesota. Love you Sweetie!).
Me? Favre loather (see definition: prima donna, traitor, money-grubber, self-righteous and moron).

Part of me is glad that Swiss is in the Sandbox (Hey! I found a reason to be glad he's there and not here!) and won't have access to his parent's subscription to the NFL Network or cable in general. This way he won't have to watch the pain, suffering and losses that Favre will inflict upon his beloved Vikings. He'll just have to hear about it. I, on the other hand, will have to watch this hot mess unfold... it will be like watching my Dad cheat on my Mom. Yeah, let that visual percolate for a while.

Saddle up Viking fans... you are in for one heck of a ride, but much like the infatuated girl stalking the BMOC who is drunk at a party... he might go home with you, but he ain't gonna give you a ring and he's gonna break your heart. Have fun!!!