Us and our craptastic timing.

So part of our big Post-Army plans include getting Swiss a ROTC or JROTC job. He votes JROTC because the pay is better. I vote ROTC because he is SO good at teaching and would be a huge asset to any program. And college towns are usually way cooler than regular towns. And the other thing is that we are sort of picky about where we retire to (rightfully so in Swiss's case- dude has EARNED it). We have a few states that we think are part of our "wheel-house"... states we are pretty sure we would be happy in, places we aspire to live in, places we hope beyond all hope will have jobs when we are done with Lady Army.

That bit about our craptastic timing? We are about 15 months out. And guess what? Six (6!) of our "Dream" locations popped up on the ROTC job posting site this week. Yeah, we (meaning Swiss) can't apply for them yet because his retirement isn't approved (actually he can't submit the paperwork for another 4 months) and we are too far out right now. Madison? Check. Missoula? Check. Minneapolis? Check. And a few others that are smaller towns, but in states we like. Well, feck.

Feck. Feck. FECK!

Why couldn't they wait a year? Madison? Ohh, it would have been perfect. PERFECT!!!! Twin Cities? Wonderful. Missoula? I love that town. Washington? Utah? Yes please!

What sucks the most is that likely none of these positions will be open by the time Swiss can apply. And that makes me SO sad... it makes me wonder and worry about where we will end up. It makes me sad that we likely won't be able to live in Madison... which was my perfect, make my heart skip a beat, master plan. So yeah, I am sort of mourning that dream's death... lamenting the loss of the "You really CAN have it all" Utopia I had created in my mind for us. le sigh.

I know something else will come along, I know there is an outside chance that this position will stay open. I know everything will work out okay, but, you know, DAMN.

Near... ...far.

Yes, Grover has taken over Tucker & Swiss. You know… near… …far. Remember that? Yeah, Grover was cool. Gaw, haven’t even started this post and I am off track already.

Okay, so my point: lately the hot topic in the house has been the “where” portion of our life post-Army. As in where are we going to get jobs? Where would we want to live? Where do we not want to live? Where can we have/afford/find the happily ever after we’ve decided on (this includes at least 20 acres of land, chicken coops, a garden, a studio for painting, a cozy house built just for us, and ideally the ability to hunt on said 20+ acres for Swiss)? Where, where, where? And all of the where’s lead to all the obligatory issues regarding proximity to family, current jobs versus new careers, autonomy & privacy, etc. Fun, right?

See, currently we (and by we I mean me) live in a mid-sized town in the upper Midwest. Swiss’s ex-wife P lives in the same city which we will call M-town with Swiss’s son. Swiss’s brother also lives in M-town. And 30 minutes down the road in S-ville reside Swiss’s parents. Me? I have a good job and own the house we live in here in M-town, but my family lives 4 hours away in P-town. I am super close with them, they adore Swiss and we don’t get to see them near as much as we would like, which sort of sucks. However, Swiss’s parents, while great folks, like to put monopolies on our time and P usually collapses into her “The Sky is Falling” routine when we are in M-town. Long story short? Even though I have been told by my Boss’s Boss (a retired Naval MD who I adore as far as bosses go) that he would hold my job for me for the year we go back to Fort X after this deployment, Swiss and I aren’t staying in M-town. We decided last night. This is a pretty huge decision for us.

So then what does all of this mean? Do we stay in the mid-west? Do we just find someplace ‘near’ here, but far enough away from everyone to have some privacy, autonomy and space? Do we run ‘far’ away and just do what makes us happy and run for greener pastures (read: Colorado, Utah, Idaho, Washington, Oregon) and hope family follows us out there or is willing to make visits despite the distance?

Granted, all of this is a little premature since we don’t know which jobs (ROTC or JROTC hopefully) will be open to Swiss when he retires. And these decisions are most certainly going to hinge on where we can get hired and therefore paid. But y’all, I am a planner. I cannot sit here after we’ve decided NOT to stay in the place we currently call home and not think about the vast oceans of cities, towns and states that could possibly await us. East? West? Middle? Small town? Big city? Suburbs? Damn, why is this country so effing big??? So, I am super interested to see where y'all plan to settle once military life is over... where and why?

Planning for a probably.

So our plan, during this deployment, is for Swiss to put in his retirement papers. (WOOO HOOO!) Which means that upon his return, we will have about 8 months left and then can skip off into the land of puppies and rainbows hand-in-hand with nary a care in the world.

Only we won't have a place to live or jobs yet. Details! Details!

Anyone who knows me in real life is aware of the fact that I am a planner. Don't get me wrong, I can be whimsical and spontaneous, it just doesn't usually play out that way. Gaw, that makes me sounds stuffy! Anyway, Swiss and I have been doing reconnaissance on where to retire, what jobs we are going to have, buy a house or build one and so on. Sometimes we just snoop around on real estate web sites looking for what is out there... I did some of that this morning, it was fun and interesting and exciting to plan and think about our future. And then Swiss came in with the paperwork for his will and handing over power of attorney. Buzz Kill.

I think that, sometimes, planning for the future like that can be an escape. It can be a little umbrella shielding you from reality for a bit, allowing you to live in a world where he has come home from the deployment safe and sound, his retirement was approved, and he wasn't stop-lossed. A place where happily ever after really does happen (and isn't Disney).

And other times it can feel like a taunt. Like a carrot being dangled in front of you, hopelessly out of reach. You know where you want to go, but you aren't sure if you are going to get there, or God forbid, you will get there alone. This morning, after the buzz kill, the website was still up on the computer and it left such a sour taste in my mouth, looking at the homes and land way out west. This morning it felt like a taunt.

Anyway, I have faith that our happily ever after will arrive right on schedule, just as planned. I don't think there is any other way to do it, honestly. But those are my 2 cents on planning. At least as it stands today...