DoD gets a big fat DO BETTER: MyCAA

I am sure you all have heard around the blog-o-sphere... but the DoD has reinstated the MyCAA program, only with some pretty massive changes. Here's the link directly to the press release: DOD to Resume Restructured Military Spouse Career Program

Okay, so first things first on my Bitch List (patent pending):
1.  What the heck is with restricting these benefits to spouses of service members with pay grades E1 through E5, WO1-WO2 and O1-O2? That is effectively removing any Senior spouse from any benefits.

According to their press release, this segregation was put in place to help the spouses with the greatest need. I, for one, wholeheartedly disagree. Now, that isn't to say that those spouses aren't in need. It is me saying what does my spouse's rank have to do with need? Swiss is an E-8 and I, for all practical purposes, lost my hard earned career (which required extra schooling on top of my Bachelor's degree- this will be an important point in a minute) when we PCS's this last time. No jobs in the area and no other careers that would allow me to use my Cytology degree.

I am assuming that this "need" is likely financial, which I sort of get. However, I would then like to point out that for some of us with previously lucrative careers, loosing that income can have just as big of an impact on the household finances as that of any Junior spouse. Me? Leaving my job in Minnesota meant that we as a family made over $60,000.00 less this year. SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. Less. Try to tell me that isn't justification for "need". To me, it is so naive to think that Senior spouses who loose careers and their families are less impacted by the lack of extra income. And it is a slap in the face to most Senior spouses who have endured tens of PCSes and have had to leave numerous jobs, resulting in resumes that look more like vacation itineraries, that their need isn't high enough because their spouse's rank is too high. In some regards, I think the senior spouses are the more likely to need the career guidance, the tweaks educational paths and the ones more in need of funding to help get new state certifications/licensure for pre-existing careers.

2. What the heck is with the funding only being available to those seeking Associates degrees, certifications or licensure?

Now, at the risk of sounding like a degree snob, rarely is an Associates degree the pathway to ANY career. Mostly, it is a pathway to a Bachelors degree- which is not permissible under this new program. If the real goal is to get spouses into portable careers that will help lend financial stability to the family and increase spouse morale... this ain't the way to do it. I fail to understand how limiting the types of degrees available to these spouses is helpful at all. What about the spouse one year away from finishing up a Bachelors degree? Too bad. What about one looking to get a Masters in Education to increase their odds of getting hired at a DoD school after their next PCS? Nope, not you! The spouse who wants to get a degree to be a therapist or counselor or social worker specifically to work with and help military families? HA! Why would the DoD help YOU?

Many of the spouses that I know who have truly portable careers, have much more than an Associates. And that isn't to say that it is impossible to get a great job/career with an Associates... but the DoD is encouraging a culture of underachieving. They are pushing spouses to get lesser degrees and maintain the norm of under-earning and flooded career paths. Not all of us can be medical transcriptionists or massage therapists. I do not approve.

I fail to see why the DoD is unwilling to let the spouses who qualify use the funds (which are fixed at $4,000 total, not to exceed $2,000/year) in any way they see fit. I would think that the end benefit from allowing these spouses get/finish advanced degrees would far outweigh any cons... and come to think of it, I can't come up with any cons. If the finances are fixed, it shouldn't matter what degree you get with that money.

And what is worse, is that the DoD is touting this as a vehicle to improve spouse morale and careers over time. Associates degrees and certifications WILL NOT do this. It is a band-aid at best on a wound that would be better served with stitches. To say it is shortsighted is not even the half of it. By targeting the younger spouses, it would make infinitely more sense to open the degree options up to the higher degrees to help create real career paths, rather than temporary ones, which is precisely what this format will do. Ask yourself: What will these spouses do in 5 years when advancement their field/career requires a Bachelors or Masters? You will have a generation of MilSpouses stalled out in entry-level careers. How is that fixing anything?

3. My biggest, over-arching problem with this re-vamp and the whole MyCAA debacle is that it is/was a failure to the greater MilSpouse community because the DoD just doesn't get it. There are promises of help and vows of caring... but the massive lack of useful, flexible, pro-active help for spouses only serves to illustrate how out of touch the DoD is with the problem

To say that they were caught off guard by the program's initial success and demand for services only goes to show that they never fully understood the MilSpouse career/education problem in the first place. I would guess that if any MilSpouse was asked if the program would be a raging success, they would have said yes without hesitation. Simply because we all understand how hard it is to get a good education or career that stays with you through years of military moves- and that the constant moves often lead to career do-overs and changes. The fact that the program was underfunded makes it ever-so apparent that the DoD has been (and still are) massively underestimating how big the issue is. Furthermore, by limiting the availability of the funding as well as the dollar amount AND the scope of its use, they aren't helping fix the problem for those who do qualify. They are only creating more of the same.

To say that I am frustrated by this turn of events is putting it mildly. I am not using this program and, frankly, even if I wanted to I couldn't (on like 3 counts). But, the bigger point is that in order to fix a problem, you first have to understand the root of it. Throwing money and restrictions at the problem will likely only lead to business as usual. Until the DoD chooses to TRULY understand why this is an issue for so many of us, why an Associates or certification isn't enough, why basing one's access to funding on their spouse's pay grade is just plain ridiculous, and that their idea of who and what a MilSpouse is (and what his/her goals might be) just might be stuck in the 50's, no augmentation to a program like this will result in true change.

I am disappointed in you DoD. It is one thing to bail on or modify promises, but it is an entirely different offense to fail (willingly or unwillingly) to understand the people you are claiming to be so committed to. It isn't help if it doesn't lead to change. And if you are so unwilling to understand our issues at their core, no number of programs, no amount of money, no level of "commitment" will ever improve the situation. So yes, you get a big fat Do Better. And don't expect a "Thank You" for the slap in the face either.

PS- for other takes on the MyCAA Hott Mess... check out the blog roll on the right. I think the top 10 are mostly posts on this very issues. The Natives are NOT happy folks! Pipe up and share you frustrations!

A house divided.

Well, not really. We aren't really THAT divided. Only on a few key issues (Democrat vs. Republican is the biggest and causes much gnashing of teeth)... but the one that is currently driving me up the wall to a chorus of nails on blackboards? Planner vs. last-minuter. I would be the planner of the bunch. Sadly, most of Swiss's family falls into the last-minuter category.

For example: We have a family wedding to go to in early June. We knew about the wedding, but only got the invites with the final dates late last week (replete with ambiguous times like 'at sunset'... does that mean the ceremony is precisely at the time for sunset listed in moon-phase charts or is there a more specific time everyone knows about except us?). Ummm, its late May. I'm pretty sure our wedding invites were out like 3 month prior to the event. But I digress. Aside from being given zero information about hotels (its an out-of-towner) and spending a few hours of my day hunting down hotels presumably near the wedding location, I've been desperately trying to find a kennel for Mr. Fletcher.

I'm hoping I can garner some sympathy from the pet-owners out there because this was SO much harder than I thought it would be. We had a perfectly WONDERFUL place for him to be boarded at back in Minnesota and it was always just so easy. Here? Some places only take the dogs out 3 times a day. Others are 100% indoors. One makes you get Bordetella vaccinations every 6 months even though Vets only recommend doing it once a year (and naturally we fall outside the 6 month window). And better yet, I found one that doesn't allow any pick-ups on Saturdays OR Sundays? Wha??? Anyway, I finally tracked down a kennel with their acts together and wouldn't you know it. Already booked up. EFF.

Now, if you recall this post, you know that this isn't a new issue for us, the ongoing battle of planner and fly-by-your-seater. And at least this one wasn't either of our faults. But COME ON. I am currently in a holding pattern that will either get us a pricey individual cottage kennel in the next town up (rather inconvenient as this will have Fletcher in the back seat of the Altima with my MIL and I for at least a half hour, yikes!) or just taking him with us (our hotel is pet friendly) but that just sounds like a horrible idea since it is a wedding and you never know how long this stuff lasts and would involve Fletch in the back seat with my MIL and I for 3 hours. Ugh.

I can honestly say that, coming from a family of planners (to the nth degree often), the lack of planning by the other half of family in your life really is enough to drive you to drink. Do any of you suffer from this affliction? How do you manage and how do you get all your planning in without being the anal-retentive one constantly pestering folks for dates? Or do you just say screw it and pester away? What is the best way to avoid these situations short of demanding dates and lots of stomping of the feet? Okay, well I am off to twiddle my thumbs until the doggie cottage place calls me back. Wish me luck folks!

LiveBlogging the PCS: Part I forgot where we were... 9?

Okay for reals. This is serious stuff. My current PCS questions/issues are these:

1. Unemployment
2. Career Changes/Support
3. GI Bill

Are you ready to dive in? Okay folks, here we go...

Let's start with #1: Unemployment.
Did you know that some military spouses qualify to collect unemployment benefits due to a PCS? Awesome, right? A real, financial benefit to leaving your job/career due to your spouse's relocation in service to the country. What is not awesome? It is not standardized state to state. Witness the below map.

This means that if you live in one of the 22 states that are listed as "case-by-case" or the 9 who list you as ineligible... you are out of luck* because in their eyes you chose to leave your job, regardless of your spouse's location/responsibilities. Also, you have to determine which state you will apply for unemployment in. To date, I have not come up with the correct answer. Home state where you are leaving your job or new state you are moving to? It's a mystery to me!

Then, I ask you to a) try to find out if you qualify or b) talk to a real person without either promising your first-born child or sticking a pen in your eyeball. It can't be done. I tried to call our current state's office (a case-by-case state) and had to formally fill out an application in order to even talk to a customer service agent. I did not do this because I didn't have my banks routing number handy, which was necessary to complete the application, nor did I want to promise them my first-born child as we don't plan on having kids. Hmm. I then tried to call the office in the state we are moving to (one where spouses are eligible). Their hours? 9am-1pm. Sweet, thanks for the large window folks. So my questions are all still unanswered despite hours dedicated to weeding them out. Thankfully, I called the nice folks at Military OneSource and my quandary is currently with their researchers. They will be getting back to me within 3 business days. HOORAY! Real, actual help!

As you can imagine, the frustration in this has been the lack of standardization and the inability to get answers quickly. My question is this: WHY is this not standardized? Is it a symptom of some states not having strong ties/no ties to military families (like the one we currently live in) versus states with strong ties & multiple military facilities within their borders (like the one we are moving to)? Is it purely legislation based? Or is it the general sentiment (which I came across multiple times in my on-line search for answers) that "Why should you get unemployment when you are choosing to quit your job? It doesn't matter that your spouse is military and had to PCS. You shouldn't get special benefits."? And how do we fix this? Can we?

Now, on to issue #2: Career Changes/Support.
Before I get started, please know that if I list your career below it isn't meant to be disparaging, I don't think they are bad careers, and it is 100% NOT a reflection on you (I know loads of wonderful, smart, talented people who have these careers)... it's just me and my personal preferences/interests.

Okay, so I cannot figure out WHY the only careers the military has deemed "portable" are the following: nursing, medical transcriptionist, teacher, cosmetologist, massage therapist and human resources. Because guess what? I DO NOT WANT TO BE ANY OF THOSE THINGS. Seriously. I got my 4 year degree in environmental biology. I got a professional degree in cytopathology. It isn't that I think I'm too good for those careers at all. But I don't want to be a nurse. I am not good at nursing, which is precisely why I didn't go into nursing in the first place. I am too easily distracted to be a transcriptionist. I only sort of want to teach because you get the summers off. I hate the idea of HR and massaging strangers and doing cuts & colors all day long. So why are my future career choices** so freaking limited suddenly just because I married into the Army?

I understand that I 'chose' to give up my career in moving to Fort X to be with Swiss. But where is the creativity in defining "portability"? Where is the "support" for spouses to do something they love for a living??? Getting my MFA in Science/Medical Illustration would mean I could work from home. Isn't that portable? But nooooooooo. No funding for me because I don't fit the prescribed model. Not fair. How is it my fault that I got a degree in what I actually like and then 7 years later happened to marry a guy in the Army? I have to give all that up if I want help going back to school because a PCS has left me with no job? Why is it okay to give Sally down the street $6000/year to go be a massage therapist but not me to go get a Masters in Biology... oh yeah, because that Masters doesn't count as "portable". Awesome.

I could rant on and on about this for years, but I won't. I will just leave it at this: I think, in this day and age, it is positively ridiculous and demeaning that my career has to fit into my husband's employer's definition of portable. Why should any of us have to become little round pegs to fit into their little round holes just because of our spouse's career choices? How is that "support" for military families? To me, it sounds like this: We'll give you "support" to get a new degree, but only if its what we think will be good for you and the Army (et al). That, my friends, isn't the kind of "support" I want or need.

Lastly, let's tackle issue #3: GI Bill.
Okay, this sort of ties into issue #2. If Swiss was able to transfer his Post 9-11 GI Bill benefits to me, #2 wouldn't be an issue. I'd be saved from the definitions of a "portable careers" and could use the GI Bill money to get any degree I wanted... a Masters in Underwater Basket Weaving? Yup. A Bachelors in Medieval Druid Literature? Sure! An Associates in Decorative Food Arts with a focus in Chocolate Curls? You betcha! The GI Bill is pretty awesome like that.

But alas, Swiss has entered one of the many Twilight Zones in the GI Bill. According to the VA website since Swiss has around 19 years in... he is too close to retirement to (want to) re-enlist and too far away from retirement to fall into the grace periods. That means that, even though Swiss would get these benefits if he wanted them (which he does not) he cannot transfer them to me unless he re-enlists for another year. In war time! FUN!!! Or not.

"For those individuals eligible for retirement after August 1, 2009, and before August 1, 2010, 1 year of additional service after approval of transfer is required."

Sure, that extra year would entitle me to whatever degree I fancied for free. But what does that extra year get him? Answer: An all expenses paid trip to the scenic mountains of Afghanistan! Complete with rustic accommodations, nightly aerial explosive displays and all you can eat MRE's! I'm guessing you will agree with me when I say the trade off isn't worth it. Not by a long shot.

So, here I sit. Unemployed (yes, by choice, sort of) with no prospects. The one job in my current field open at our new duty station? I applied for it and couldn't get an interview because I was overqualified. There is no degree/certification I can complete between January and November of next year. And there aren't any "portable" careers that even remotely appeal to me. So what is a gal to do? Answer: Pay out of pocket, take out a new loan and figure out what else I want to be when I grow up. Then go back to school. And hope I can find a job somewhere down the line.

I'd like to not be snarky about this, but I'm feeling decidedly "Screw you Army!" about it all. It isn't enough that we all do without our husbands for a year(+) at a time, constantly worry about their safety, hold the homestead together all alone and move whenever and wherever they decide to send us- but we get to give up our hard earned careers and goals too! And what do they give us in return? 12-15 months of "dwell" time and some spare change to go be a hairdresser. Hey! Thanks DoD!!! Or not.

Thus endeth my rant.

* yes, they say "case-by-case" but we all know that is just a PC term for "no"
** as defined by programs like myCAA

WTF? (aka: BANKS ARE THE DEVIL)

In a turn of events that is making me question the status of my cosmic Karma, our appraisal has failed. (Seriously- What DID I do???) And by failed, I mean the dude sent by the (EVIL) bank appraised our house at the same value it was appraised at 2 years ago (which is about $10,000 less than the sale price). Even though we remodeled the kitchen and everyone & their mom thinks the price is right. So... the accepted offer? In jeopardy. The calmness and serenity of being done with the house drama? Poof. GONE. The anxiety, worry and stress of getting this fixed, sold and done with once and for all? Back with a vengeance.

Our realtor claims it isn't time to panic yet (HA! She didn't just submit her PPSO forms requesting to be moved out of said house on the 1st of October and signed papers formally resigning her position at work on the 16th of October.). She found the comps we based our price on, she submitted paperwork detailing the work that has been done on the house and apparently the buyer's agent is working to fix this too. All hands are on deck to try and right this ship. But honestly, my outlook is grim. (Oh, and let's NOT get into the fact that this whole mess is happening solely because the EVIL banks offered sub-prime lending which caused this housing crash and now they are screwing ME and everyone else over by under-appraising houses in order to cover their own asses. Color me LIVID.)

I do not know what to do now. Save cry, knit, drink, cry some more, and pray to anyone upstairs who is listening for a teensey bit of help on this one. I know Swiss, bless his heart, will just say to do whatever we have to do in order to get the sale done with... even if it means loosing more money. I can honestly say that at this point, I'm in total agreement with him. Anyway, if you have some spare time, throw out some good financial juju my way. And if you know what I did to mess up my Karma so spectacularly, drop me a line because I'd really like to know...

PS- As an added bonus, the PPSO office just called to inform me that our move will cost us $1,000 out of pocket because he was single and living in another state when he got his PCS orders, even though he didn't report to his new duty station until after we got married. Our current home is further away from our new duty station than his last duty station was so yep, we get to absorb that cost. Wheeee! LOOK AT ME! I AM MADE OF MONEY!!!

My belly and me (aka Thursday).

Okay, so I am super serious about getting in better shape and getting healthier so I can live long and prosper as a crotchety old lady. Also, because I fear my once wee belly (where I tend to show my extra weight first) is starting to veer dangerously close to “when is it due?” territory. Ugh. So I am vowing to Do Better (patent pending) in all areas, starting with my diet.

But man, where the heck do you start? I mean, I have a serious love affair with cheese. And I have always put sugar in my coffee. I have an ‘addiction’ to Diet Coke. And I usually wuss out of cooking dinner now that Swiss is in the Sandbox… cereal or Mac ‘n Cheese anyone? I know I make plenty of suspect food choices… a sub without mayonnaise is sacrilegious, sour cream is sent from heaven and... really, I just rely on processed foods way to heavily in general. Shame on me!

I have decided to start sort of small… I’m not giving my diet a complete overhaul, nor am I out to count every last calorie just yet. I truly do love fruits and veggies, I think hummus is fabulous and as a certified carnivore, I love me some protein. I just need to weed out the stupid stuff.

Thanks to Amy (from whom I have stolen almost ALL of these ideas), I’ve taken her lead and have stopped putting sugar in my coffee. I found that if you buy good coffee (CARIBOU!) you don’t have to put the sugar in it. I’ve bounced back up to 2% milk and I am weaning myself off of Diet Coke (but I am not going to give it up completely just yet… one thing at a time folks!). I am buying fruit by the bucketful and trying to eat at least 2 serving a day. Lately cherries have been my snack and dessert. I am also going to buy more produce/perishables, I hate to see it go to waste so hopefully it will help me eat the good stuff! Breakfast is now going to be a protein shake with loads of fruit (which totally gives me an excuse to use my shiny red blender). Lunch will be Kashi (at least while I am working) frozen meals because they usually have lots of vegetables and their grains/pastas are always whole wheat (and the Mayan Harvest Bake is DE-freaking-LISH!). Dinner will be protein plus 2 veggies with a smattering of whole wheat carbs/grains. Snacks? Hummus and veggies, hard boiled eggs or more fruit. FO’ REALS! I mean it this time!!!

The hard part? Keeping this up when Swiss gets home. That man loves him some cheese (read: puts it on almost everything, even stuff that already has cheese on it) and isn’t a huge fan of all the veggies I usually feed him (unless covered in said cheese)... something about excess gas. Aren't you glad you asked? Side note: how he manages to remain so fit, trim and generally free of body fat I will NEVER know. He doesn’t eat fruit (too much work. Seriously, that is his excuse!) and prefers mostly proteins, virtually no carbs unless they are in the form of cereal. But then again, I am the cook so if he wants to eat, I guess he will have to get used to it!

Anyway, this is my plan. I figure that if I write it here, I have to sort of hold myself accountable and not be a flake about it. I've been doing it all this week so far and have noticed a difference in my energy levels and a little in my weight already. AWESOME. So, do y’all have any tricks to weed out the bad and find ways to eat more tasty & good for you foods? Let me hear ‘em if you’ve got ‘em!

Yeah, what he said.

The Degradation of the American Dialogue

Go read it.
The end.


And thanks to LAW for pointing this out to me.

Army FAIL.

What happens when you put a large metal building in front of the antennas for the MWR phone room? Yeah, genius, you block the satellite reception. No phones, no internets. Rocket surgery, I'm sure.

Army FAIL.



Swiss did call, all is well now with phones and internet. Building no longer there. Swiss is good. Thanks for the good thoughts and for putting up with my rants. Much obliged!

Happy Mother's Day, Military Spouses Day, apologies and ramblings.

First off: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM! You are the best... you were the best mom, the best advocate, the best supporter, the best caregiver and now that I am all growed up... you are my best friend. Thank you for all you have done, thank you for all you do, and I'm sorry we couldn't be together on this day.

Second: Happy Military Spouse's Day (a day late). To all you MilSpouses out there: YOU ROCK. I could go on and on, but you know the gist of it... so keep on truckin' and thanks to all you wonderful MilSpouses who have become so much more... my friends.

Third: Yo, I am sorry I have been much of a Debbie Downer these days. There has been a toxic cloud of PMS, loneliness, uncertainty and blah hanging over me lately and this stage of the deployment falls squarely in between "Look! We are a quarter done!" and "Balls. 5 more months until I get to see him. Seriously?". It isn't a fun place to be. But, I think the winds are changing... hopefully this funk will blow right on out of here soon. So yeah, I am going to give myself a "Do Better" and do just that. Thanks for sticking by me even when I am not what anyone would call fun.

Lastly: You know those times when folks tell you that you, in fact, cannot have it all? Well, I say PISH-POSH! We, Swiss and I, ARE going to have it all. Why? Because I said so, and because I am going to put my mind to it, and dammit things are going to work out for us because (by the time he gets home) these 3 years of long-distance dating, insane 'family' drama, moves, and a deployment have been effing hard and we have earned it. We are going to get great jobs someplace we would like to live, we are going to be near (but not too near) family... one way or another, we are going to have that house we always wanted to build, we will have our 20 acres, we will travel to exotic locales and we WILL have it all. Our happily ever after. So there.

Work it out.

working out, originally uploaded by tongueinchic.

I am pumped. Why? Because ArmyWife and I are going to be workout buddies! No, I suppose you are right, that isn't Earth-shattering news. BUT, it is super cool because we live just over 1,000 miles apart. God Bless teh Internetz!

Our plan? To report back to each other when we finish workouts, talk about our progress and work through this awesome book: The New Rules of Lifting for Women. Oh, and that other pesky thing necessary for workouts: Motivation. As she said, "...it is going to be GLORIOUS!" and I agree. Of course I also have to give a shout out to Alternative Army Wife because a) she is way cooler than I am and b) she got me all kinds of geared up to get back into my workout groove (she's going to be a fitness guru, just you wait!). So yeah, that is the plan.

Go Team!

F-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-e-d.

Okay, let me preface this statement/vent/whine with this: I know there are some of you MilSpouses out there who hardly ever get to talk to your significant others during the course of a deployment (you can feel free to tell me to suck it and shut up). I know it was worse in WWI, WWII, Vietnam, Korea, et. al. I know we have computers and e-mail. I get it, it could so be worse and some of you deal with this all the time. With that said:

I WANT THE FUCKING PHONES TO BE WORKING ALREADY!

We are moving into week 4 of no verbal communication. The SPAWAR station is set up though... the phones are in, the tables are made, the cable is laid. All we are waiting on is some civilian contractor (aka Commo Guy) to get their ass out to BFE and point the damned satellite in the right freaking direction. That's it. But the civilian just hasn't shown up in the past week and no one really knows when he will be there. So we sit in radio silence and rely on hotmail to communicate.

And if one more civilian tells me "well, at least you have the computer" I will likely punch them. Then I will likely spew forth something ineloquent about how they would feel not seeing their husband for almost 3 months and relying on freaking e-mail to talk and not hearing his voice and then start crying. And then I will have no more civilian friends because they will all think I am either a bitch or insane... or both.

See what you are doing to me Commo Guy? Just get out there and point that thing in the right direction and I will regain my sanity. Is that so hard??? Throw me a freaking bone here dude... Poor Swiss would prefer nothing more than to wring some necks over this, but has resigned himself to the fact that most of the folks in his unit are inept and beyond help. Oh woe is us. Just please, make me sane again and get those phones up and running. Please?

Thus ending my rant.

Oh, and I swear I'm not usually this surly! I just really, really, really need to hear Swiss's voice.

Rant.

Did y'all know that for the past 3 weeks my husband hasn't had a proper shower? Did you know that he's been using bottles of water to rinse off... not bathe, mind you, just rinse off? Did you know that there are only 16 Port-a-Potties for over 100 troops, none of which have been emptied in the past week? (I mean, can you imagine the stench? Can you fathom how disgusting that is? I have no words, but I am gagging at the thought of it.) Did you know that Swiss and his unit have spent the past 3 weeks cleaning up trash and human waste from their new location so everyone else can move in?

I'm guessing you know that I am giving the Army a BIG FAT DO BETTER. And of course I know it isn't the "Army" that is at fault... it's the asshats back at the shiny new FOB with all the cushy amenities who aren't bothering to do their jobs, and the commanding officers who aren't making them do their jobs. All while my husband uses bathrooms that are in danger of overflowing with human waste.

Thanks for taking such good care of my husband... and by that I mean not. Jerks.

Have I been in a coma?*

*The asterisk is because there is swearing in this post. If you aren't game, stop reading now. Sorry.

Mmmkay. I just saw this over at cnn.com: "After 6 years fighting in Iraq, Americans' interest wanes" and all I can say is, Huh?

This is news NOW? Last I checked, I am pretty sure that the American public lost interest in this war about 2 years ago (if not more). But seriously, you should read this. It is full of really great insight into the 'American public'.

Like this little gem: "...based on recent polling and exit polling from the November presidential elections, the war isn't a big concern to Americans." Well, then, by all means bring my husband home and close up shop. I'm glad none of you are concerned about our troops. I am glad none of you lay awake at night worrying about your husband's safety (in the shower or otherwise) or if he will even come home. Awesome. Oh, and you are welcome. Asshats.

Ooh, and this one slayed me: " 'And obviously after six years, Americans are going to be a little sick of it,' said Michael O'Hanlon, a national security expert at the Brookings Institution." You know, I feel for you American public, I really do. Because guess what? We military families are just so NOT sick of it. We love this! Honest! Actually, we want MORE! More deployments! More PTSD! More Purple Hearts! HOORAY FOR WAR! I am SO fucking sorry that YOU are sick of it poor, poor American public. Asshats squared.

BAAH! *breathe* Okay. Rant over. I know I was a bit harsh, but really people? Really???

It has been one of those days... I am stuck late at work (after coming in early- fantastic!) and I work with a bunch of morons. But, the silver lining is that I get to go out to dinner with a great friend and eat yummy Indian food (I'm hoping for booze too! Does that make me a lush?) Hope I wasn't too much of a Debbie Downer for your Friday afternoon... here's wishing y'all a super weekend with lots of sunny, warm weather! And no stupid 'American public'.

P.S: Glad y'all like the new header too! :)

Catching up.

Since the fog of this cold has started to lift, I actually have enough motivation to do something more than sit on the sofa. Go me! So, what do I all have to say.... hmmm.

Let's start with Dover. The verdict is in and Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates is opting to reverse the existing policy. At first glance I had a twinge of angst and fear, then I took a minute an read further. (Whoa, what a concept.) This is what he had to say:

"After receiving input from a number of sources, including all of the military services and the organizations representing military families, I have decided that the decision regarding media coverage of the dignified transfer process at Dover should be made by those most directly affected: on an individual basis by the families of the fallen," Gates told reporters at a briefing at the Pentagon this afternoon. "We ought not presume to make that decision in their place."

And you know what? He is right. It is our choice. Who are they to say yes or no on our behalf? That should be my choice, your choice, heck- even our service member's choice. I think this is a big step forward for us MilSpouses... I mean, the government is actually trying to do what is right here. They are stepping aside and have realized that, at least on this issue, is isn't about them, it is about the families and the wishes of our fallen troops. So I say well played... and thank you. (And I won't get into all the crazies who are taking this all out of context and jumping to irrational conclusions, or claiming that this new policy is disregarding the wishes of military families... I don't have that much motivation yet!)

In other news, the apocalyptic snowstorm predicted for today turned into only a few inches of wet, heavy snow. Either way, I am SO over winter in the upper Midwest. However, my neighbor Wayne totally rocks because he cleared off my snow covered sidewalks just to be nice. I am nominating him for sainthood post haste.

Swiss is doing well and many of our unanswered questions are finally getting answered in regards to the when, where and how of this deployment. Good news all around. I have started medicating Fletcher (I kid, I kid) with rawhides, he is doing much better.

And lastly, I give the finale of Top Chef two huge thumbs down. Hosea? Seriously? Do better. You really had to go with the tool box who cheated on his girlfriend on national TV and is completely devoid of any personality? Bah. Talk about unsatisfying television. I demand a recount.

Ooh! One more thing... this is SO WAY COOL. I want to do one on my flickr page. Did I mention that I heart flickr? Well I do.

Aaarrrrggggghhhhh!

I didn't need to read this tonight but I saw it and wanted to get it out there. I don't know how one goes about finding out which plates are under the recall... I just hope and pray to God that Swiss's isn't one of them. Bah. The Army gets a Do Better on this one. Seriously.

Do better.

For those who know me outside of the blogosphere, they are familiar with my favorite go-to phrase for folks who are either lame, incompetent, greatly lacking in a trait deemed necessary or just plain stupid. That phrase is this: Do better. (Generally said in a defeated tone with loads of exasperation in your voice. It's more effective that way.)

It actually works in many situations. Someone cut you off? Do better. Incompetent co-worker? Do better. Get the wrong order from the drive-through? Do better. Dog has an accident in the house? Do better. It works for just about everything and I find it quite handy. Plus it helps me reign in my cursing.

I hear you asking why the dissertation on my catch-phrase of choice? Aaah, because we had our first unit event. It was a Hail and Farewell held at a very classy location. Think wings, cleavage and tight orange spandex shorts. Swiss and I get there early and meet the man of the hour who was more busy programming his new cell phone than talking to people. Do better. Then we meet the guy who Swiss is replacing in a few months. Now that is one squared away guy, he was cordial and inquisitive and very polite. 1-1. Not too bad so far.

Here's where it gets interesting. The fellows with wives start showing up. We all do our polite introductions and everyone knows that Swiss is the new guy, ergo I am the new girl. And you know what? Not a single wife came over to talk to me. Not one. There were 7 of them. Yes, in fact that would be 7 Do Betters. (1-8) Now I certainly wasn't looking for new best friends or even someone to have coffee with, but I did expect some amount of interaction. Maybe I put them off somehow, but honestly I think I am pretty approachable and rather friendly. There were even 2 moments when Swiss went to the restroom... and I sat there by myself and not a one took the opportunity to talk to me. Even the Senior guy's wife didn't even try to strike up a conversation... and she's been to school for this stuff... etiquette courses and all! But I digress.

We lasted all of about 2 hours (which was honestly about 1 1/2 hours too long) and only Swiss's replacement talked to us and seemed to be the only one capable of talking about anything other than riding motorcycles. We don't ride motorcycles and we don't have a Harley-Davidson so we weren't cool enough to participate in any conversations. I wish I was exaggerating. And heaven forbid we talk about anything else. In fact at one point, Swiss's replacement asked him why/how he got into writing. The senior guys says, "You're into riding!?!" Swiss says "No, writing." Response? "Oh, never mind, I don't want to talk about THAT." Do better.

Final tally? 15 Do betters. (out of 16 no less)

I think more than anything, I was a shocked at the complete lack of couth. The lack of social skills, the lack of friendliness, the lack of effort. Swiss and I left and on the way home we talked about how disappointing it all was and how un-welcome it made us feel. How am I supposed to count on these women during the deployment if they wouldn't even talk to me? How are we supposed to form a well-functioning unit at work and in the homes if people aren't even willing to extend basic politeness?

So yes, it looks like as far as an Army based support group for this deployment? I'm going it alone. Thank heavens for my friends, my family, this wonderful thing called the internets, and you dear readers. I know there aren't many of you, but you are very much appreciated!

Ignorance.

They say ignorance is bliss. And while that may be true... it seems that more often than not, ignorance is hateful, ignorance is harmful, ignorance is the loudest kid in the crowd.

I was over at a favorite website today, The Big Picture, and in honor of Veteran's day the author posted pictures of troops entrenched in the mountains of Afghanistan. They were amazing photographs, action shots, images of the troops, pictures of the locals... all with captions and descriptions.

They were moving. They were incredible and they were sobering.

I scrolled down to read the comments folks had left. Most were about the photographs only, some were thankful of our troops, and a fair share were ignorant. Some of those were mean. Some were downright hateful. Most folks turned it into a discussion about politics or foreign policy. But some were attacking our men and women over there. Name calling even.

I couldn't help but wonder what made these people feel this way? What were they told to incite such strong emotions? How can people NOT separate their feeling about the politics & policies of the war from their feelings about our Troops and fellow Americans? Even when I wasn't a MilSpouse I was always able to separate my feelings about the war from my feelings about our Troops. I can't fathom how or why others cannot do this... it boggles my mind and it scares me how hateful and spiteful people can be towards the very folks who are protecting their right to speak loudly, speak openly and speak freely all from the comfort of their safe homes.

Absolutely mind boggling.

Do better.

Just a weeeee bit of a vent.

The lodging folks down at Fort X gave Swiss only 2 days in the post's temporary lodging. He was supposed to have 10. Two! They only gave him TWO! So now he has to check out before he even in-processes(no vacancies to be sure...) and since tomorrow is a holiday the Housing Office isn't open to help find a solution. Which means finding last-minute accommodations in unfamiliar territory. Lovely. Oh yeah, and did I mention that he can't in-process until Wednesday? (But mind you he just HAD to be down there by Monday.) Brilliant. Ooh! I almost forgot... his commanding officer isn't around or even remotely available. And won't be until next week. So we won't even know what is assignment is until approximately Lord-knows-when.

I don't know how normative all of this is. I just expected a bit better I guess. And it is doubly frustrating because I am 1,000+ miles away and can do precisely SQUAT about it. Not even bake cookies... cookies make everything better.

Anyway, feel free to tell me to get over it... tell me this is normal... or, even better, tell me your stories! Either way I am sure it will make me feel better!

This concludes my vent. Thank you for listening.

UPDATE: Thankfully Swiss' temporary housing has been extended and the Housing Office IS open today. So we will see what there is available and hopefully get one more thing checked off the list. Fingers crossed! (PS- Did you know that even though I am in DEERS and have my military ID the Housing Office still want to see the official marriage license? Madness I tell you! Madness!!!!)

Surly.

This girl is surly today. We got final word about Operation Vehicle Recovery. Not good. First I was sad, I still am, but now I am mad (which is no easy feat mind you). Not at Swiss, it isn't his fault and he can't do anything about it. But who can I get mad at? Can I get mad at the whole Army? Can I get mad at the IDIOT who left the van in Washington? Can I get mad at Swiss' Colonel? But I am getting ahead of myself...

See, the Powers That Be decided not only does Swiss have to go pick up this aforementioned MIA van, but he leaves on the 4th. Did I mention that my vacation day was the 5th? And did I mention that this is a 2,000 mile drive back? Now, math was never my strong suit, but it didn't take me long to figure out that not only did I lose my extra vacation day with him... I lost the whole weekend.

So now I am sad and mad and dissapointed and frustrated and a whole list of adjectives that won't help anything. That's the worst part- not being able to do a darned thing about it. So I will just subtract one more weekend from the few months we have left and sulk.

This is shaping up to be one stellar week...

Olympics Induced Break

So the combination of Swiss being home on a short leave and the Olympics has conspired to soak up all my free time. I'm working on doing better...