The Flipside.

I am now in the inevitable funk that follows time with Swiss.

I am surly. I am sad. I am mad even.

I am so over the fact that being apart is more normal than being together.* I am tired of relying on cell phones and e-mail to have normal daily conversations. Conversations that should be had over a dinner table or while curled up together on a sofa. I am tired of having to plan life around the Army. I am tired of not wanting to sleep in my own bed because more often than not I am alone in it. I am tired of sucking it up and putting on a brave face.

Mostly, I am just tired of knowing that this- what we are doing right now, 5 days away, 2 days together- is as good as it is going to get for the next 2 years. That, internet friends, is depressing. And what's worse is that there isn't a damned thing anyone can do about it. Not me, not Swiss, no one.

Welcome to Army Life.

*No lectures needed about how we choose this, Hooah this, Hooah that. I get it. We chose this. That still doesn't make it any easier.

Gone.

And he is gone again.

Back to the home post. And back to the routine... 5 days away, 2 together. Sigh.

But this TDY has taught me this: No matter how hard it is now... it could always be worse. I used to bawl when Swiss would leave every week. I just hated the thought of a week without him, not coming home to him, not waking up to him. And believe me, I still hate it. But after two months apart, 5 days doesn't seem so bad, no?

My bestest and closest friend, Beth, said this summer was like Spring Training for the Deployment. And she is right. It is never easy to say goodbye, but it does help you gain some perspective and quite frankly help me keep my shit together. (Pardon my French.) Anyway, back to the grind we go.

I am off to gather info for the final Honeymoon plans... Hooray!

Home.

Swiss is home.

All is right with the world again...

Nesting.

With Swiss gone for the last two months on TDY I've been holding things down here at the homestead. There has been wedding planning, honeymoon booking, softball playing, and the like. But I have totally been nesting for the last two weeks. There have been trips to Sherwin-Williams, a massive re-painting effort in the loft upstairs (that seems redundant, no?), a trip to IKEA ( love!), rearranging of furniture, new pictures on the wall... the list goes on. Oh, and I forgot to mention the attempt of moving our entire bedroom upstairs, getting half way moved, and realizing that there is NO way the mattress or box-spring would make it up the stairs. Sad.

And of course none of this is earth-shattering. It's just that I've never "nested" for someone else before. And I like it! I am so excited to have Swiss home, even if it is just for a few hours. Just knowing he is a reasonable drive away rather than an airplane ride makes it all so much better. Anyway, here's to nesting and here's to reunions!

The New & The Same

So I started my new job today. Same BigHospital but new responsibilities, new challenges, new pace... and it is a position I have been working towards for the last 2 years. So it is good. I'm just a wee bit bummed because Swiss isn't here to celebrate with me. I miss him.

Tonight we should be toasting with some wine and a great meal... a leisurely walk through the neighborhood... something! But he is waaaaay out in Tacoma. And I am here squarely in America's Heartland. Which at this point is just plain frustrating. I am SO ready for Warrior Forge to be over. Seriously.

Happy Fourth!

Happy Fourth of July!

Last year at this time Swiss and I were just getting to know one another over the phone as most summers send him to Warrior Forge. Same story this year... and the Army is making him work on the 4th no less! I can't wait until our first Fourth of July together... which won't be until 2011!

So I am off to celebrate with my family at the lake... have a happy 4th with your loved ones, remember those who serve us, remember all that is good about this wonderful country and celebrate!