I am surly. I am sad. I am mad even.
I am so over the fact that being apart is more normal than being together.* I am tired of relying on cell phones and e-mail to have normal daily conversations. Conversations that should be had over a dinner table or while curled up together on a sofa. I am tired of having to plan life around the Army. I am tired of not wanting to sleep in my own bed because more often than not I am alone in it. I am tired of sucking it up and putting on a brave face.
Mostly, I am just tired of knowing that this- what we are doing right now, 5 days away, 2 days together- is as good as it is going to get for the next 2 years. That, internet friends, is depressing. And what's worse is that there isn't a damned thing anyone can do about it. Not me, not Swiss, no one.
Welcome to Army Life.
*No lectures needed about how we choose this, Hooah this, Hooah that. I get it. We chose this. That still doesn't make it any easier.