Hiatus part two, Aloha edition.

So, after those two actually decent blog posts, I'm off again! Like a herd of turtles!

All joking aside, this is my big trip to Hawaii with my bestest friend in the whole world Beth to visit her awesome sister Katie and her two baby boys (she blogs too- check her out!) with a bit of a stop in Seattle to visit Beth's family and her other sister Carolyn. These three gals are my adopted sisters, family by choice I like to say, so I'm super excited to be spending time with them all- especially Beth. Can you tell I miss her???

Also, its been fun to watch Swiss get ready for a week without me. I think it is cute that he's realizing how not fun it is to be the one left behind... even if it is only for a week! Yes, very sappy and newlywed of us. You can barf if you are overcome with the gushieness of it all. I won't blame you!

In any event, I'll be off the radar for another week or so. Hopefully all the downtime on the airplane and in the airport will stir up some more posts of substance and I'll come back ready to go. Hope you all have a great week and we will see you soon!

Later aligators! -Tucker xoxo

This is bananas. AKA the Retirement process.

Y'all, seriously, the whole retirement process really is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I've been wanting to write about this process for some time now, but is is so long and drawn out that there has been no good time to to sit down and put it to paper screen. But I suppose now we are coming to a close and there really is no better time than the present. And before I get started, to all you Navy/Marine/Coastie/Air Force folks, sorry! I don't know how much of this is consistent across the board (I'd imagine the VA stuff is) but all I can speak to is the Army's process... in any event, I hope even this little bit can help you prepare for a future ETS or retirement!

So, the long and short of it is this: ACAP, VA, meetings, meetings, seminars, meetings, VA, ACAP, ACAP, retirement office, VA, housing, transportation, VA, VA physicals, retirement office, VA. Or something near that. What you need to know is that it is a long process with a lot of stops along the way, make sure you leave plenty of time to do it all. And a stash of beer or wine won't hurt!

ACAP is the Army's program for transitioning out of the service. Everything from interview skills, resumes, job searches, how to dress for interviews, job fairs, prospective employer meet and greets, generally just a whole lot of how to get your shit together for life outside the Army. It is a great program and, aside from the nutty schedules for the seminars and meetings, full of useful information. ACAP is awesome and be sure to take full advantage of it. And spouses! You can use ACAP too! Your spouse isn't the only one transitioning out of the Army so you can participate in their resume workshops and job fairs as well. Use it!

The VA stuff is insane. Insane because the sheer amount of information they throw at you, insane because of the mind-boggling loopholes and if-then scenarios they pose. And insane because when you are retiring, how you handle the VA stuff before you leave duty will have a MAJOR impact not only on your disability, but on how easily you will be able to navigate the VA system once you are in it. Suffice to say, the more you do, and the better/more thoroughly you do it, the easier your life will be in the future. But be prepared to have your mind blown by how the system works. BANANAS.

The retirement office on post handles lots of the paperwork. All the DD-214s and retirement orders and they are the ones who actually get you out of the Army. My 2 cents when working with them? Be Prepared. Have copies of all your necessary documents, have copies of all your awards and honors, and review what the system says you have (in terms of time in service, duty stations, ranks, awards) before you walk in the door. Double checking is your best friend. And play nice with your representative- they can make your life hell if you make their job difficult (that should be obvious, but this is one person you want on your good side!)

Now, back to the VA insanity. This is probably the single most important part to retiring (a little less so for ETSing) so I'm gonna focus here a bit. The things I think y'all need to know up front are these:

• VA systems are based on a regional format. These regions DO NOT interface (as insane as this may be, it is the truth). If you move from one region to another, it is 100% on you to take your medical records with you and ensure that your records are transferred to your new region. 100% on you. Did you get that? Its all on you to make sure this stuff transfers the way it should.

• The VA system is not one stop shopping. It is like the utility company, if you are having problems with the electric, you wouldn't call the water company, right? BE SURE WHO YOU ARE CALLING. If you aren't sure, ask or check online. Because if you call the wrong folks? They will not help you, you will get frustrated, and you will give up... loosing out on benefits and help. And this is probably the single most common mistake when dealing with the VA.

• Have your medical records in tip-top shape. I mean it! You need to account for every bump and bruise going in to these VA appointments. The whole point is that someone will review the records and then set up medical appointments to corroborate and suss out any health issues. The more complete your records are, the more likely you will a) get an accurate disability rating and b) get these things on record for both future healthcare and future disability should the condition worsen. Very important stuff folks. And this could be thousands of dollars over a lifetime. (Did you know that tendonitis in and ankle or knee, if documented, is 10% straight away??? And that stuff adds up!)

• ASK QUESTIONS! The whole thing is complicated and confusing... fro the Post 9-11 GI Bill down to how and when to register with the system (FYI- you register on the first day you are no longer an active duty soldier). If you aren't sure, ask, because sometimes finding the answer out yourself could take days. The more notes you take early in the process and the more questions you ask, the better you will understand the process... or at least where to start looking when you have issues. This will serve you well in the long run. I promise!

As for the rest of it? These tid-bits pertain to anyone getting out- ETS or Retirement. These are the nuggets of wisdom I've taken away from the process so far and I think they will help anyone going through this:

• Schedule! This stuff takes time. And the meetings/presentations/specific hours that things are done are ridiculous and all over the place. Leave yourself enough time to get all this taken care of without rushing. Rushing leads to mistakes and mistakes lead to problems. If you have questions, talk to the ACAP folks and the people in the retirement office. They will know! Also, some of these meetings require your spouse to attend, so be prepared and have your calendars open!

• Schedule! Part two! Make sure your unit is allowing you enough time to get through the retirement process. As I said, this takes time and if you are tasked with labor and time intensive duties when you should be ACAPing or doing your VA physicals, you will be scrambling at the last minute to get it all done. These appointments will dictate when you can PCS and when your terminal leave can start- the sooner you get done, the more enjoyable and stress-free the final stages will be. (Trust me, we are living this nightmare right now because Swiss got tasked with running EIB when he should have been working on retiring. NIGHTMARE!)

• LISTEN! Pay close attention to the content of those meetings. As boring as they are (and I know they are, I've sat through them!) they are chock full of useful information that you will (WILL) need in the future. Take notes, ask questions, pay attention! They will cover everything from Post 9-11 GI Bill benefits, VA health care, insurance, claiming preference... it is all so important! So don't tune out, don't doodle, don't take naps. Suck it up and pay attention. Your bank account, sanity, and future health care will benefit in the long run.

• Document. Have your paperwork in order. This means everything from medical records to NCOERs and promotion paperwork, honors and awards, re-enlistment contracts... the whole kit and caboodle. The better organized you are the easier the whole process will be. Take some time before you start the process to get this all in order. It will save you lots of headaches in the coming months. 

• Be flexible. Both in schedule and attitude. Know that your dream PCS/terminal leave dates may or may not work. Know that the date you want to do a particular ACAP meeting might be booked, have alternates in the back of your mind. Be prepared to bounce around the offices and missing some of the silly hours they have set up for these things (because you have no way of knowing they only look at medical records from 8-11 on Mondays). As frustrating as it might be, it is necessary because they don't make it easy on you. Consider yourself warned.

• Organize! Make yourself a big old file folder (or set aside a drawer, box, whatever) and keep all this stuff you'll be getting in one place. There will be more handouts and information than you can keep track of, so start some files for each item so you can find it again. I SO wish we would have done this early on. I am faced with doing this now and it is a HOT MESS. Also, this will serve you well in the future as you need to go back and reference this information.

• BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE! The people helping you are just doing their job. As nice as they may be, its no skin off their back if you get screwed in the end. I don't mean to sound cynical, but it is in your best interest to pay attention to what is going on. Case in point, when Swiss's medical records were getting reviewed his (VERY) well documented history of a thyroid disorder, skin cancer and a gunshot wound from combat were missed. If he hadn't spoken up, not only would his medical care have suffered, but we would have missed out on something like 70% disability. Huge deal folks! HUGE! If you aren't going to pay attention and look out for yourself, you can't expect someone who sees you as just another case to do it for you. So, this might be the single most important pointer I can give you. Take ownership of this process and the information- double check, triple check and pay attention! Be your own advocate. Period!

Okay, so that is the nitty gritty cliff notes version of this process so far. As more things come to light, I will pass on whatever nuggets of wisdom I glean. And also, please, please, please don't hesitate to ask questions either by e-mail or in the comments if you have them. I'm by no means an expert in this, but I'd be glad to pass on whatever information I have!

Stay tuned for more information! Ooh, and let me know if there are aspects of this process you specifically want more information on... I'll do my best to help out however I can.

His career and my 2 cents.

You've read those blog posts and heard/overheard those conversations, right? The ones where the spouse of the soldier (etc.) bravely and calmly says that her husband's career choices in the military really are just up to him since it is HIS career after all. Please tell me you have (though if you haven't just search around the blog-o-sphere, you'll find them, I don't want to post links as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelers)... because I need to suss some things out in regards to this topic.

First, I get it. I mean, I understand the whole mentality of not putting your foot down and DEMANDING that your spouse ETS or Retire or switch MOS, because generally demands don't play so nice with marriages. And I'd be willing to bet that around 90% of us knew we were marrying the military type, so there is a certain amount of latitude that must be given. I get that. I really do. There is a part of you that feels incredibly selfish and demanding and not all that wonderful when you start to think about putting in your 2 cents (or 5 dollars) when it comes to these topics.

Second, I sort of understand the parallels I see some spouses trying to make between their civilian career and his. You know, the whole I wouldn't want him telling me what jobs to take and not to take or when to move or quit, so I shouldn't do it to him. Because, on some level that is totally spot on. I wouldn't want Swiss demanding or telling me in no uncertain terms what I could and could not do with my career, to turn down opportunities or a big promotion for whatever reason. I am an independent lady after all, with a strong will to boot. I think we can all imagine how well that would go over, right? So it is, on the surface of things, understandable to draw the same conclusions about your say and his career.

However... for me, that parallel doesn't really work unless your civilian job is that of a Blackwater contractor or maybe a MD with Doctors Without Borders (or you are in the military yourself). Because my job as a cytotechnologist or teacher or nurse or advertising executive generally only comes with ancillary requirements like occasional overtime or working weekends, maybe a pay cut or the rare travel to some safe garden spot for a short conference. No job I've ever had put my life in jeopardy, sent me away from home for a year or more every 15 moths or so or left my family to deal with the very real possibility of me not coming home- ever. And no job I've ever had came with contracts that couldn't be broken or guaranteed moves every few years under penalty of jail time. And last I checked, most civilian jobs can or could be left at the office so to speak. None of those things can be said for a job in the military. Not a one.

Also, isn't all we ever talk about how this career our spouses choose is really a lifestyle for the whole family, sacrifices and bonuses and all? So how does this whole Hands Off! mentality when it comes to his career jibe with our general thesis on military life? How can we, on one hand say that these deployments effect us all, but on the other say that decisions regarding the career that causes these deployments is no place for my opinion?

I guess my questions/issues on this topic arise because when it came time for Swiss to PCS the last time, when talks of retirement or staying in started to surface, it was a family decision. We talked about it together. I made me feelings and opinions known, politely of course, but Swiss always knew what my feelings on these topics were. We, as a family, talked about the benefits and cons of each of the duty stations and the job assignments and expectations that would come with each place (you know, light infantry versus mechanized units, 1SGT time or staff duty, etc.). We talked about wether or not this was the right time to retire, what the benefits would be to staying in and what impact that would have on our lives, my career, his career and all that jazz. At the end of the day, we made decisions based on what was best for our family. If Swiss was single, he'd probably stay in for another 3-6 years, but those extra deployments and PCSs just weren't what made sense for us.

Now, with all that said, I really do want to open up a dialogue about this topic even though I haven't shielded my views even a smidge (hey, I'm just being honest!). How do you feel about this? How much input do you give (or are allowed) on your spouse's military career? Where is the line between being selfish and doing what is best for your family? How have you and your spouses dealt with these issues in the past? And are you a subscriber to the "Its his career" mentality? If so, why?

Okay Ladies, have at it in the comments! Just play nice with each other, okay?

OMG.

So we juuuuust got home from our whirlwind 2 week trek from Maine to Washington and most places in between. And can I tell you that I have NEVER been so happy to see the main gates here at Fort X? Anyway, there are stories and photos and whatnot, but first there must be a long awaited reunion with me and my bed. But just so you know, I'm back and the blogging will commence shortly!!!

Hiatus.

The next two weeks are going to be bananas here so posting will be infrequent (as if it hasn't already been so- ha!). If I can, I will do some posting from Maine and our hare-brained trip to the PNW for a job interview. Wish us luck if you are so inclined!

I hope you all have great weeks!!!

Pride and punishment.

For the past few months Swiss has been in charge of planning, organizing and running his battalion's Expert Infantryman Badge testing. It's been countless weeks of late hours, planning and prepping for a week's worth of testing... brutal testing and brutal hours and brutal standards, all in the name of the coveted EIB.

This morning was the final test... after over 300 started, there were less than 40 something soldiers embarking on the 12 mile road march in full battle rattle. Three hours of marching, running, slugging it out to make this week's worth of punishment worth it. And you know what? By the time they were coming on into the homestretch? It was already 82 degrees.

I drove Swiss in to work not a half hour ago, and when I dropped him off, I was held at the intersection by a guard to let these EIB soldiers cross the road on their way to the finish. The driver's seat in our sedan suddenly became a front row seat to one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever witnessed.

To my right, near headquarters, every unit was in formation in their PTs, with flags flying, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the EIB soldiers from their unit. They were joined by the proud wives and kids of these troops... all waiting to see the familiar face they came to cheer on. And every time a new soldier crested the hill, bogged down by their helmet and body armor, hands tired from carrying their M4 for three hours, feet dragging from the relentless 12 mile march.... the crowds roared and that troop's unit broke formation. The cheers and clapping were almost deafening. Those soldiers ran, no, sprinted to their soldier and started running/marching with him shouting and clapping the entire way. They cheered him on, motivated him in those last brutal 200 yards, encouraged him and urged him on to the finish. You could literally see the candidate's morale soar, their cadence quicken, their shoulders straighten. You could see it working. It was beautiful and it made my heart soar. I wish you all could have seen it.

The pride and the Esprit de Corps was nearly overwhelming... the joy and exuberance these soldiers had when their soldier came into the home stretch was palpable and they weren't afraid to show it to anyone who was watching. It actually made me a bit misty, to see these battle-hardened men cheering and running like kids again, all to support a member of the unit in attaining the EIB.

There is no telling how many of these men made the required time. Im sure Swiss will have the update when he gets home. But I suppose, in this story and for me, that isn't the point. It was the unity and the pride and the unconditional, unabashed support. Really, truly, it was magical. And I feel so lucky to have seen it.

Here's hoping every last one of them passed. And to those who did? Congratulations... and enjoy the hell out of your weekend. Hooah.

Progress...

Well folks, we got some good news! Swiss got an interview for a JROTC position out on the left coast! (Can I get a "Hells yeah!"?)

Now, since we leave for our much anticipated vacation to Maine this weekend, it will have to wait until we get back, but can I tell you how much this news bolstered my spirits? I mean, no, I don't want to be THAT far away from my friends and family, but it is a nice town with a nice community and great home-grown businesses, mountain views and a major city a couple of hours away, so I can't complain too much. Swiss is cautiously optimistic, I can tell he's worried about blowing it (even though I have 100% confidence that no such thing could/will happen) so his excitement level is lower than mine. But I know one thing, we are both pretty stoked about getting a hit and having a real prospect in front of us.

In any event, this now gives me license to do all the research I (hopefully) will need to do if we end up PCSing there. Homes to rent, cultural activities, jobs, neighborhoods, all that jazz. And you know what? Thank God for the Internet!

Monday, Monday.

There is something y'all should know about me: I'm terrible at goodbyes. Like blubbering mess, snotty nose, weepy, melancholy, herky-jerky speech and everything. I mean, you would think after college and living in places other than my home town, doing long-distance dating for over a year, a big, fat deployment and moving across the country to play Army wife, I'd be a bit more practiced and skilled at this. Alas, no.

Of course it doesn't help that I'm definitely the overly-sentimental type. I'm a total softie deep down and no matter how tough I appear/try to be, I'm really just a gushy mess. It isn't ever pretty when Swiss or my parents have to leave (which they did today after an awesome visit that totally makes me want to get back to Wisconsin), or when I leave my home/hometown. I just don't do goodbyes gracefully. And you know what else doesn't help? I'm a little bit weary. 

Now, I'm not complaining per se. I've got it good great. Healthy family, a husband who is none the worse for the wear after multiple deployments, we are financially sound, I get to go on two (2!) vacations in the next month, we have family and friends who love us... life is good and we are blessed. It's just that Holy Hannah- this retirement/leaving the Army thing is annoying frustrating hard scary intimidating difficult challenging. No, it doesn't help that we are leaving a secure, steady job and diving head-long into a terrible economy with ABYSMAL job markets. And no, it doesn't make things easier when deep down I really wish in my heart of hearts that we could find a way to make it back to the Midwest regardless of the consequences. And no, it doesn't help when neither Swiss nor I can come to grips with the situation as it really is rather than the situation as we are seeing it is and therefore panicking about.

Mostly, I think we are frustrated with the job options ahead of us. (Us and everyone else, right?) We were planning for so long to go the JROTC route for Swiss, then once that was settled, I would decide what road to head down on the quest for a new career. Then, after calling all of our Top 10 assignments, and the Second 10, finding only a handful of sub-prime openings... the picture starts to get muddy and deflating. There is the one in a shady town in a nice state. There is one in a nice town in a nice state (near lots of wine!) but ridiculously far from family. There is the one in the big city rife with crime. There is the one in the middle of nowhere with zero prospects for me and my career. Gone are the assignments that made perfect sense for our family. I don't know if it was bad timing, Karma or fate. But what we are left with looks more like the detritus at the end of Lollapalooza than anything. Oh okay- that's a bit of an overstatement, but after loosing out (or being mislead) on great cities like Denver and Omaha and sweet towns in Maine and Kentucky... we are feeling like somewhere we went wrong. Only we can't figure out how, where or why.

So now we are in recovery mode. Applying for jobs that neither of us really want in locations we think we want. Going to plans B through W trying to find something that will work, even though we both know it means jobs we would likely loathe. Trying to game plan a ridiculous scenario where a JROTC job will be opening up next year (we can apply in April) in a city we like and is close to home, so I find a job and we move there on the blind faith that Swiss can make buddies with the JROTC guys there and get that job in a year.  Because that is a great plan, right?

In any event, I think Swiss and I both need to remember that since he is retiring, there will be money, even if somehow neither of us end up working immediately. There will be checks every month, and though I hate that he will likely be given a high disability percentage, that too will help grow our bank account even more. We aren't going to be living in a van down by the river (see the clip just for kicks). 

We aren't going to be suffering and miserable. And worst case scenario, we wait it out and keep our fingers crossed for that JROTC job next year. (Do I love the idea of being 'homeless', mooching off our families- again- for 8 months? All I can say is UGH. But it certainly is better than the alternative? Right???)

But I guess the moral of the story is that things never really go how you think they will. Not to be pessimistic, because that isn't my nature. But optimism- when leaving the armed forces- won't serve you well. The big government jobs are a bitch to get even if you are qualified (and can take up to a year to finalize), the JROTC listings are 'updated' every 3 days but are really weeks months out of date, and the career market for lots of military folks are either based on who you know or sucking it up and taking some sort of contracting job. Isn't that the rosiest picture you ever did see?

In any event, I think I (and we) just want a solution to the Post-Army question that is haunting us. We want a job, and we want to have direction. We want to be close to home, but we understand (begrudgingly) that it might not be in the cards just yet. We want to get settled and stop playing the I Don't Know game. We want to get our foot in the door so that maybe one day we can get the job/location we really want. And we are mostly just ready to have a plan... that doesn't involve a van down by the river.

Checking in...

Just checking in. All is fine here, there is lots to update y'all on but my family is here for a bit longer so things will be quiet around this here blog for another couple of days. Hope you all are having a great week!

Deployment by proxy.

So, Kid B and my daughter in law are about to embark down the long, sad, agonizingly annoying road of another deployment. Bless their souls, they are both about 21 and on their second one already. The D date is approaching fast and I hate seeing her go through all the pre-deployment build up... she is an Army brat herself, so deployments aren't new to her, its just that I can't help but think at the end of the day watching your husband leave for parts unknown, rife with danger, is something you never get used to. Wether you are 21 or 31 or 41. Wether you've been married a year or 20. Wether it is your first or last. My guess is that it always feels the same:


Gut wrenching. Fearful. Worried. Anxious. Uncertain.

Trepidation. Sadness. Exasperation. Anger.

Lonely. Oh Lord the loneliness...

Mentally and physically bracing yourself for whatever it is that will come your way in the ensuing year. Trying to be strong, trying to do it all yourself. Just trying to make it through.


And she is doing it with three small girls. I don't know how she does it, but she is a good girl and I know she will be fine. But I'll tell you what, watching her prepare, reading her Facebook updates brings back all those feelings, all the memories of those days leading up to the deployment. It puts me back in that gymnasium, choking back tears, trying to stay strong... not knowing how the following year would be, not knowing if we would come out of it for the better, ... not knowing if he would even come home. Ugh, I'm giving myself heartburn just thinking about it. I want to reach out to her, tell her it will all be okay, but of course none of us know that. I wish there was something I (we) could do other than simply offering to be there for her and the girls. But that is how these things go.

Swiss talked to Kid B yesterday, probably one of the last times until things get settled in theater, and even he didn't know what to say. From one soldier to another, it was only I love you and stay safe, send us your address once you get it. Because really, what else is there to say? It is an experience we have all been through, but it seems that no matter how many times you do it, we know there isn't anything we can do or say to make it any better. It is just something that has to be done, and all you can do is be there when it starts and gut it out until it is over.


I (we) pray that Kid B's deployment is depressingly boring and terribly uneventful even though I know that isn't what he wants. I pray for his safety, for his unit's cohesion, for strength of leadership, for keeping his nose out of places he doesn't need to be. I pray that he comes home safe and healthy, to a family that is anxiously awaiting his arrival. I pray that nothing falls apart, that everyone gets through this year with flying colors, and I pray that this year, for them, flies by.

Stay safe and come home soon Kid B.

On being a scaredy-cat.

Woo Hooo!!!! The good news in our neck of the woods is that Swiss got final approval to be a JROTC instructor. This means we (and by we, I mean he) now get to call up the schools with openings and schedule interviews. Once an offer is extended, we pick is, schedule our PCS, find a place to live there and get on with getting out of the Army. Hopefully this process will also include a month or so of free time before work starts so we can spend some time with the families. Exciting, no?

Well, yes, exciting. But also nerve-wracking and bringing out my OCD tendencies in a big way. I mean, there is an Excel spreadsheet involved (which will in no way, shape, or form surprise those who know me best) for crying out loud! I think the issue lies in the simple fact that any of the options open to us are unknowns. Some are straight up enigmas to us, places we've never been or never considered living. Others are known only through the eyes of a tourist- which we all know involve rose-colored glasses. It is an interesting challenge finally having say over where you live, but still ending up having to choose a place that you frankly don't know much about. It is starting to feel like a business-as-usual Army move if you know what I mean.

Whats worse? Swiss and I have come up with a tier system of sorts for the locations we have to choose from. There was the tier one list. It only had 5 locations on it. And the two that were closest to home and family are gone. This has taught me a valuable lesson: Don't put your favorites at the top of your list because they will be gone! So now? The top of my favorite list is Bethel, Alaska. I'm hoping this hoodwinking of karma/fate works! In any event, there are still some good contenders in the top tier and if all goes as we hope, one of those will come through for us.

The challenge for me, right this minute, is that all of the other locations in the top tier are quite far from home. We are currently over 1,000 miles from home now, and it sort of sucks. All the things I got used to being only 250 miles away are gone. No weekends hanging out with Beth. No jaunts home just for kicks. No holidays with the family or meet-ups at concerts or sporting events. I worry about what that will be like for years on end. What will it be like to miss out on my best friend having her first baby? What will it feel like to miss out on most family get-togethers? How will it feel to miss out on what everyone else is doing?

I am certainly game to move far, far away. I am excited about carving out a home for us, free from some of the drama and expectations that come with being proximate to (some) family. There is an element of excitement in the adventure and unknown. New cultures, new foods, new lifestyles. But it is a challenge to find that balance of what is best for us and what is best for family. I am certainly not a believer that you make the decisions in your married life based on the others in your extended family. Especially when some show no signs of being willing to do the same for you. But where is that balance?

In any event, this decision will likely be taken out of our hands. We are dependent upon an offer and should there be only a few, that will make life and decisions easier for us. And for now, until something closer to home opens us, we are destined to move far, far away from everything we call home. Good thing the Army has already prepared us for this!

DoD gets a big fat DO BETTER: MyCAA

I am sure you all have heard around the blog-o-sphere... but the DoD has reinstated the MyCAA program, only with some pretty massive changes. Here's the link directly to the press release: DOD to Resume Restructured Military Spouse Career Program

Okay, so first things first on my Bitch List (patent pending):
1.  What the heck is with restricting these benefits to spouses of service members with pay grades E1 through E5, WO1-WO2 and O1-O2? That is effectively removing any Senior spouse from any benefits.

According to their press release, this segregation was put in place to help the spouses with the greatest need. I, for one, wholeheartedly disagree. Now, that isn't to say that those spouses aren't in need. It is me saying what does my spouse's rank have to do with need? Swiss is an E-8 and I, for all practical purposes, lost my hard earned career (which required extra schooling on top of my Bachelor's degree- this will be an important point in a minute) when we PCS's this last time. No jobs in the area and no other careers that would allow me to use my Cytology degree.

I am assuming that this "need" is likely financial, which I sort of get. However, I would then like to point out that for some of us with previously lucrative careers, loosing that income can have just as big of an impact on the household finances as that of any Junior spouse. Me? Leaving my job in Minnesota meant that we as a family made over $60,000.00 less this year. SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. Less. Try to tell me that isn't justification for "need". To me, it is so naive to think that Senior spouses who loose careers and their families are less impacted by the lack of extra income. And it is a slap in the face to most Senior spouses who have endured tens of PCSes and have had to leave numerous jobs, resulting in resumes that look more like vacation itineraries, that their need isn't high enough because their spouse's rank is too high. In some regards, I think the senior spouses are the more likely to need the career guidance, the tweaks educational paths and the ones more in need of funding to help get new state certifications/licensure for pre-existing careers.

2. What the heck is with the funding only being available to those seeking Associates degrees, certifications or licensure?

Now, at the risk of sounding like a degree snob, rarely is an Associates degree the pathway to ANY career. Mostly, it is a pathway to a Bachelors degree- which is not permissible under this new program. If the real goal is to get spouses into portable careers that will help lend financial stability to the family and increase spouse morale... this ain't the way to do it. I fail to understand how limiting the types of degrees available to these spouses is helpful at all. What about the spouse one year away from finishing up a Bachelors degree? Too bad. What about one looking to get a Masters in Education to increase their odds of getting hired at a DoD school after their next PCS? Nope, not you! The spouse who wants to get a degree to be a therapist or counselor or social worker specifically to work with and help military families? HA! Why would the DoD help YOU?

Many of the spouses that I know who have truly portable careers, have much more than an Associates. And that isn't to say that it is impossible to get a great job/career with an Associates... but the DoD is encouraging a culture of underachieving. They are pushing spouses to get lesser degrees and maintain the norm of under-earning and flooded career paths. Not all of us can be medical transcriptionists or massage therapists. I do not approve.

I fail to see why the DoD is unwilling to let the spouses who qualify use the funds (which are fixed at $4,000 total, not to exceed $2,000/year) in any way they see fit. I would think that the end benefit from allowing these spouses get/finish advanced degrees would far outweigh any cons... and come to think of it, I can't come up with any cons. If the finances are fixed, it shouldn't matter what degree you get with that money.

And what is worse, is that the DoD is touting this as a vehicle to improve spouse morale and careers over time. Associates degrees and certifications WILL NOT do this. It is a band-aid at best on a wound that would be better served with stitches. To say it is shortsighted is not even the half of it. By targeting the younger spouses, it would make infinitely more sense to open the degree options up to the higher degrees to help create real career paths, rather than temporary ones, which is precisely what this format will do. Ask yourself: What will these spouses do in 5 years when advancement their field/career requires a Bachelors or Masters? You will have a generation of MilSpouses stalled out in entry-level careers. How is that fixing anything?

3. My biggest, over-arching problem with this re-vamp and the whole MyCAA debacle is that it is/was a failure to the greater MilSpouse community because the DoD just doesn't get it. There are promises of help and vows of caring... but the massive lack of useful, flexible, pro-active help for spouses only serves to illustrate how out of touch the DoD is with the problem

To say that they were caught off guard by the program's initial success and demand for services only goes to show that they never fully understood the MilSpouse career/education problem in the first place. I would guess that if any MilSpouse was asked if the program would be a raging success, they would have said yes without hesitation. Simply because we all understand how hard it is to get a good education or career that stays with you through years of military moves- and that the constant moves often lead to career do-overs and changes. The fact that the program was underfunded makes it ever-so apparent that the DoD has been (and still are) massively underestimating how big the issue is. Furthermore, by limiting the availability of the funding as well as the dollar amount AND the scope of its use, they aren't helping fix the problem for those who do qualify. They are only creating more of the same.

To say that I am frustrated by this turn of events is putting it mildly. I am not using this program and, frankly, even if I wanted to I couldn't (on like 3 counts). But, the bigger point is that in order to fix a problem, you first have to understand the root of it. Throwing money and restrictions at the problem will likely only lead to business as usual. Until the DoD chooses to TRULY understand why this is an issue for so many of us, why an Associates or certification isn't enough, why basing one's access to funding on their spouse's pay grade is just plain ridiculous, and that their idea of who and what a MilSpouse is (and what his/her goals might be) just might be stuck in the 50's, no augmentation to a program like this will result in true change.

I am disappointed in you DoD. It is one thing to bail on or modify promises, but it is an entirely different offense to fail (willingly or unwillingly) to understand the people you are claiming to be so committed to. It isn't help if it doesn't lead to change. And if you are so unwilling to understand our issues at their core, no number of programs, no amount of money, no level of "commitment" will ever improve the situation. So yes, you get a big fat Do Better. And don't expect a "Thank You" for the slap in the face either.

PS- for other takes on the MyCAA Hott Mess... check out the blog roll on the right. I think the top 10 are mostly posts on this very issues. The Natives are NOT happy folks! Pipe up and share you frustrations!

Home sweet home...

So I've been thinking lately... we live on post, but most of my MilSpouse friends don't. Like I'd guess 90% don't. And that makes me curious.

We love living on post. Yes, Swiss's high rank allows for a larger house (though his BAH is also higher and could be used -perhaps- better off post), but we really like being close to everything here. Because we are so close to everything, it isn't an ordeal to run to the PX/Commissary/whatever and usually Swiss gets to come home for lunch. And the 'rush hours' (all 8 of them) on and off post here are RIDICULOUS so we figure it would be best to not have to mess with it. Plus we knew we wouldn't be here a whole year, so dealing with the housing office in regards to leases made a ton more sense than a landlord to us. Now, to be fair, I truly think that if we were staying in much longer or got Stop-Lossed we would still live on post. Swiss likes it and, oddly enough, so do I.

But. I know we aren't in the majority. Loads of folks live off post for a litany of reasons. Heck, most of the folks we know down here at Fort X live off post and, like I said before, most of my MilSpouse friends live off post too. So what gives?

I guess I am wondering why you choose to live off post... what is it that drives your decisions when you PCS somewhere new? Is it based on the deployment schedule, availability, location, intense desire to get away from the bugles and Humvees or do you love waking up to the sounds of Reveille and Apaches flying overhead? Does it very depending on the post you are at? Do you rent or buy if you live off post? I am super intrigued to hear your responses and reasoning!

So you tell me! You can choose multiple items in the poll... first choose where you live (one of the first 3 options) and then tell me why... either in the poll or the comments.

Home sweet home is... and why?
	On Post
	Off Post (own a home)
	Off Post (rental)
	Housing can be had for less than your BAH
	Need a break from all things Military
	Love the convenience of living near everything on Post
	Other, I'll tell you in the comments
pollcode.com free polls

Thanks for humoring me dear Readers! Hope your weeks are all off to a great start!

Rachel on Afghanistan.

Regardless of your political persuasion... take 10 minutes and watch this piece by Rachel Maddow. She brings up a littany of of great points and really crystalizes many of the things I've been thinking about this war but unable to articulate. And lest you think this is some sort of liberal push... Swiss is a pretty conservative guy and he agrees 100% and thought the piece was very well done. In any event, take a few minutes, set aside any notions of partisan media or liberal sway, and watch this with an open mind, because it isn't about politics, it is about our men and women who serve and sacrifice, and if it is really worth it in the end.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And thanks to LAW for posting this first.

Finished!

So, I finished the orange and aqua quilt and I lurve it! The straight line quilting took fooooorever and it isn't perfect by any means (mostly because I haven't gotten around to purchasing a walking foot yet- for shame!) but I think that makes me love it even more... it really feels handmade and has a sort of organic vibe from the imperfections. I did the bobbin thread in orange so the back has a contrasting stitch that I am so in love with, I think that gives it a modern feel too. I'm gonna be so thrilled to give this away one day!

Anyway, on with the photos!!!

What a tease!!!

So, happily Swiss nailed his JROTC interview. He did such a great job, the interviewer gave him his information and offered to be a personal reference. And though he said it would take 2 weeks to get his summary/opinion to Cadet Command, he had it there the following day. How's that for Hooah?

All this means that we should know wether or not he is accepted within a month (nothing like government efficiency, right?) and we can start applying to positions. To which we both say Goody Goody Gumdrops! We've been eyeing these positions for so long now, I've done research on every town- from crime rates to real estate to shopping, we've even planned some trips to our theoretical front-runners. (I say theoretical because many of these places we haven't actually been to, they just seem really nice.) For the longest time, there were 5 top locations as far as we were concerned... nice towns, good schools, reasonable home prices, the works... and admittedly, we were already sorta hanging our hats on those places.

And then yesterday, Swiss was reviewing the postings and two of our top 5 are gone. Poof. Vanished into the night. Sad Tucker and Swiss.

Now, in all fairness, none of these places fall into our vision of Utopia, so it isn't really *that* big of a loss... but one of the ones that got filled? It was close. Really close. I was ready to move there tomorrow. Rolling hills, horse farms, sweet little downtown area and a old time neighborhood/community feel... it would have been perfect, or as close at JROTC will let us get to perfect. But alas, not to be. I can officially say that Swiss and I were big time bummed for at least a day. We moped and pouted and lamented the loss of the future we had already started building there. I know, I know... this is what we get for getting our hopes up too soon. Ah well.

So we are sort of back to square one. Recalibrating our top 5 or 10 or whatever... trying to decide if the artificial boundaries as to what regions we would and would not live in are still appropriate (for us) or just silly. I mean, do we really want to live in Alabama or Alaska or Texas (no offense to anyone from these fine states, I just am not sure how adventurous this midwestern gal is when it comes to relocating)? In any event, heres to hoping none of our other top places disappear any time soon- or at least not until we snag one for ourselves! Keep your fingers crossed for us! And Happy Monday everyone!!!

In case you needed a visual...

Have a super stellar weekend everyone!!! And let me know which of the above songs is now playing in your nugget? Me? Midnight train to Georgia... woo woo!!

Quilted for your comfort.

So I've been a busy sewing bee lately. These quilts are fun to make... something about making something so utilitarian and comforting with you own two hands. In any regard, I think I am getting better, though not 'good' by any measure. In any event, here's the one I just finished...

And here are the projects in the queue...
For my Mom (Christmas)

For my MIL (again, Christmas)

For us (with the fabric I won over at FabricWorm- so lucky and so excited!!!)

For one of my lucky friends who gets preggers with a girl first. Its a stash quilt... make it and keep it til it is needed!

This is the one I am working on pining and quilting now... so yes, off I go to pin until my fingers cramp and quilt until my back aches!

Interview with a...

Vampire? No.

JROTC Instructor? Yep.

So, tomorrow is a big day in the Tucker and Swiss household. Swiss has his preliminary interview for the JROTC application process. If he nails it, his application gets approved and his information will be passed on to the schools with openings in the states we have selected and we can get on with planning the rest of our lives. If not, well, our Battleship will be at least semi-sunk.

No pressure, right?

Now, I'm not worried about it per se. Swiss is a champ and quite personable, plus he has that whole "Johnny-on-the-spot" thing going for him. He interviews very well and always has the right thing to say on the tip of his tongue. (Unlike me, who once actually said "SOL" in an interview and then was asked to explain what that means. Whoopsies.) Plus he has great experience with positions like this and his record is impeccable. I am relatively confident that this interview will go well and that we will be able to move forward in the process and hopefully have concrete interviews/job offers in the coming month or two. But, if you like, feel free to send any good ju-ju our way tomorrow mid-morning!

In other Army news, Swiss's unit has hit the "glide" path for the next deployment. I suppose you are wondering why we should care, seeing as how Swiss has an approved retirement set for the end of this year... am I right? Well, the deal is this: Swiss is cutting it close as far as wether or not he will fall into the  stop-loss window. Wha? You thought they did away with that pesky stop-loss thingy? Well, not really. Not for guys trying to retire! Jokes on us! In fact, the douchey lovely Army can still stop his retirement and keep him for an additional year (which of course would be far more than a year because of the deployment) if they deem him necessary to the unit and their mission.  Hahahhahahahhah. Head*desk. And bring me a box of wine with a reeeealllly big straw. Of course there are exceptions, but none of them apply to us unless we somehow manage to get our household good shipped to a new location before the stop-loss window hits, which would require a job so send that good ju-ju for Swiss' interview please!!!

I'm, surprisingly, not freaking out just yet. Swiss claims the odds are in our favor since he's sort of an 'extra' in the unit and isn't directly responsible for anyone/anything in light of his pending retirement so the odds of him being deemed essential to the unit are low. But then again, this is the Army we are talking about and nothing is ever logical or predictable when it comes to this stuff. And you never know when he'll be tagged to take over a unit or some other insanity, thus rendering him unit essential. In any regard, I'm sort of trying to ignore this little tid-bit for the time being and will save the panic and anguish and devastation (not to mention mourning for the 'normal' life we've been fantasizing about) for a time when the situation is set in stone. Which hopefully won't ever happen. Cross them fingers folks!

So yeah, now you are all up-to-date with the insanity here. Keep that good ju-ju coming ladies... we need it!!!

** Note: If you comment and don't see it show up... its because there is something awry with blogger... but rest assured, I'm getting your comments. I am sure they will show up on the blog soon! Thanks! **

Again?

Oh man the yard *just* dried out....

What the eff Fort X weather??? I can't tell what's worse... 100 degree weather or solid weeks of rain and muddy dogs/backyards.