30 April 2010

Oh, never mind.

And just like that, P (Swiss' ex-wife) changes her mind. She just can't let her baby go. Even though he's in some pretty serious trouble, is failing multiple classes, won't listen to her and scores of other things I won't talk about here.

All the work, all the effort, all the willingness to uproot our entire lives. All the time, all the planning, all the angst. For nothing.

I am caught somewhere between relief (because life will stay sane and relatively care-free) and angry (because this ISN'T what is best for Kid A and we ALL know it). I am mad that we got jerked around. I am mad that I know she will do this again when things get rough. And I am mad I wasted all that time. I am mad that we somehow still get the bad guy moniker even though we were willing to change everything for him. Because we were going to be strict, have rules, BE PARENTS.

Mostly, I am over this dysfunctional, overly dramatic, short-sighted, selfish, manipulative, fair-weathered off-shoot of our family. I hate how much control they exert over our lives, I hate how we always end up jumping through their hoops, and how we will always do it- because a child shouldn't get lost in the shuffle of principles and defiance.

So yeah, never mind all that stuff about Kid A and being a mom and reinventing our family, our home and our lifestyle. Sorry to have bothered you with it all. I suppose I should have known better...


hilbj said...

Dude!!! I am so sorry you got caught in the drama monsoon. Just know you acted with the best of intentions and were child-centered. I hope this is the end of jerking this kid around and you getting caught in. xo

Post Tenebras Lux said...

Sigh. No need to apologize for sharing--it's what's happening. I'm guessing *we're* all sorry you're getting yanked around.