07 January 2010

Being a SAHW, sans husband.

So pretty much I feel like a slacker (apart from the mighty task of getting this house together). I also feel like a college kid home on Semester break, wondering when this easy, breezy gig will be up. Which is to say that I don't think I've entirely grasped the fact that I'm not going back to work for a long time... at least not for another year, which seems like a long time to me.

Now that isn't to say that I'm not digging it. Work is overrated... though only in the sense of 40+ hours a week all dressed up doing what someone else tells you to do. However I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I do miss the intellectual challenge, the secretly awesome feeling of putting my degree to really great use, the satisfaction that comes with actually helping someone and doing something that matters... and getting paid for it.

But this life of leisure is pretty great too... I finally feeling unstressed (for the most part) and able to do a lot of the things I have always wanted to do. I'm running! Two weeks in to the Couch to 5K program and I'm staying motivated and actually doing it. Something I never really had time for when I was working and keeping the house clean and running errands every weeknight to keep the weekends free for Swiss, or when I was constantly cleaning, tweaking, obsessing over the sale of the house and prepping for the move. Excuses? Maybe. But before there was only so much I could do and maintain my sanity... working out was what got cut. Now? I have the time. And I dig it, plus the side benefit is that I'm getting in better shape and feeling better about myself. Win, win.

Do I watch a lot of TV? I suppose no more than I did before. Honestly, apart from my dedicated 2 hours every morning to watching the West Wing (Good Maude I love that show!)... I pretty much work throughout the day and only sit down for a few half hour stretches here and there (I can never say no to the Barefoot Contessa or ColorSplash) until dinnertime which is usually after 8. Which sort of surprises me. And I'm truly looking forward to having my studio totally set up and ready to go... then I hope to set aside an hour or two every day for creative me-time. I need to get my paint on for serials.

I've also done some awesome reading in regards to healthy eating and cooking. I read "Eat This, Not That" which was eye-opening and alarmingly helpful (the yogurt I've been buying has 28g of sugar per serving!!! Holy crap!). I also bought "The Food You Crave" which is an awesome cookbook with all sorts of healthy substitutes in the foods we (Swiss and I) love and Ellie Krieger is awesome and a registered dietitian so her recipes are full of flavor and healthy and well balanced. So there will be a lot of time spent in the kitchen, whipping up drool-worthy meals that aren't all bad for us, with a few tweaked gems from "Nigella Express" because, secretly, I want to be Nigella Lawson.

But I digress. Do I sometimes feel weird about being college educated with a certification in cytopathology sitting at home doing laundry and cooking? Frankly... Yes. Do I sort of feel like I'm not living up to my potential, not using the brains the good Lord gave me and the education my dear parents paid for? Yep. Do I also feel like, for the first time in ages, I'm able to relax and breathe and focus on me and my relationship? Yes. So despite all the conflicting feelings I have over this... I'm happy with my, our, decision. And I'm guessing that being home every day when my husband comes home for lunch and home from work and being able to explore the more creative aspects of my personality will go a long, long way to making me a happy person. But I'd also bet I'll be pretty stoked to get back to work in a year. Then again, maybe not!


Meghan said...

I love barefoot contessa! I got one of the cookbooks for Christmas. That is one of my goals for this deployment year, to make myself a book of recipes that are easy and healthy so we don't eat out as much when he gets home!

liberal army wife said...

Nigella - rules. Any TV chef who actually nibbles on her leftovers at night, or who at least pretends to, rules! Take the year and explore! take the time to paint, run (although, honestly, I don't understand that one...) knit? cook (and good recipes are always appreciated by your readers, ahem..) write for LF... This is Tucker Time - but warning, if you wear those ridiculous pants and dance around, we will have to Gibbs Slap you. As for West Wing - it was the best.