Sigh. I am sitting here at my computer after a half hour of job/career hunting. I'm left feeling like I need another cup of coffee with some whiskey in it, a hug from Swiss and a pep talk from Beth. Deflated, defeated and hopeless. Dude, what a downer on a Saturday morning, right?
I guess I just feel like I'm at a really strange place as far as starting over goes. I have a four-year degree. I have a certificate degree in my 'speciality'. But I am 31 and don't know what to do with myself. Do I go back to school? Do I suck it up and keep on track with a career I've sort of fallen out of love with (but don't hate). Do I try to re-enter the job market back at entry levels? Can we handle that financially? Sigh, what is a girl to do???
I don't mind the idea of going back to school in theory. I LOATHE the idea of having to take (re-take) the GRE and I don't like the idea of having to spend money on school to make money... that just leaves me out of the working pool for another 2 years. Blech. And honestly, I feel like if I am going to go back to school and do all that work- it better be for something I REALY love. I don't think I can say that about any of the programs (save maybe art school) Ive looked into.
My degree is in environmental biology. My job experience is medical. There are a few careers out there that I think would let me meld those two together, but most want a otherwise useless Master's in Biology to even apply. Seriously, a MS in Biology is as good as Monopoly money. I won't waste the time, money or energy to get one.
And Swiss always asks me what my dream job is. This usually makes me sad because I don't think I have one anymore... maybe independently wealthy traveler/artist/photographer? But that would require winning the lottery. I used to want to be a Veterinarian... but even that doesn't make sense at this juncture in my life. I don't want to teach. I don't want to be a field biologist. I would love to work at a NFP environmental organization, but I don't see how we can afford to do the things we want on those types of low salaries. I would love to advise students about biology careers, but those are the jobs that want the useless MS in Biology. I could try to hack it as a freelance photographer & artist, but I'd feel guilty if Swiss was the only one really contributing to the household income.
If I'm lucky, I might be able to swing a government job in biology, or at least relating to it. And worst case scenario, I stick with my former career track because I'm already well qualified and trained and *should* be able to land a job (providing there is one near us) without too much difficulty. But it just feels weird to be lost in the sea of "What do I want to be when I grow up" again at 31. I did this a couple of times already and, yes, it does suck as much as I remember. Ha!
Anyway, I am sure things will fall into place the closer we get and once we know where Swiss can get good offers. I am sure that there will be better opportunities when I can hone in on a geographical area, and I'm sure that whatever it is I end up doing, it will be okay. I sort of feel like this should be a liberating experience, like pressing the refresh button on your career, but when you don't have direction or deep seated career desires, it really leaves you feeling more listless and angsty. I'm guessing this is the feeling Swiss has told me about when he talks about leaving the Army...