Don't mind me. I am just feeling like whining. So consider this your fair warning.
This deployment stuff sucks. Of course it sucks for all of the obvious reasons. War sucks. Mandatory spousal separation sucks. Dirty, dusty tent living sucks. Fear, worry, danger... all suck.
But the little stuff sucks too. In some ways it sucks more than the big stuff... you know, not having him to talk to about my day. Not having him to be my nuclear reactor in bed- and no that isn't some metaphor for sex- literally the man throws off some serious heat and I love to be warm & cozy. Not seeing his smile. Not being able to touch him, hold hands, curl up beside one another. Not being able to talk to him about his day, every day. Not having him to cook for. Not being able to look over and see him there.
And you know what I miss the most? Just being with him. We don't have to do anything, say anything... just be together. I miss that so very much.
5 comments:
While he was gone, so was my best friend...
This will pass...hang in there.
*hugs*
Thanks LopsidedMom. That's what it all comes down too... my husband is gone by my best friend is too.
Thanks for the hugs too!
and then there's the other little stuff. the trash being taken out, the assist with getting all those groceries up the three flights of stairs, the one who could come pick me up from the Metro when I miss the last shuttle bus to the complex, the guy who makes dinner since he got home earlier, the bringing me a pill and a glass of water when the migraine hits so I don't have to try to open that stupid little blister package.
and the shared laugh at something on tv, and the "oh you won't believe who I saw today"...
sucks. majorly sucks.
LAW
Oh, you've got that righ on the money LAW. So many little things to miss... sometimes is is kind of overwhelming. All the little ways they make life better, happier, funner (I know that isn't a word, but I like it anyway). I miss how he lets me warm my feet up on his legs, I miss how he always brings me a drink when he gets up to get one for himself, I miss it all. Even the bad stuff.
Majorly sucks is right.
I hope you are hanging in there too LAW!
You are right. It's a lot of little things. For me, it's always the energy that he brings in the house. He's like a tornado of energy sometimes and I miss then when he isn't there. The sillyness and goofy jokes are high on the list too, and like you said, just being with him. There's no replacing human affection like hugs and handholding. I remember when he came back, I wanted to glue myself to him or crawl inside him just to be close again.
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