06 August 2009

LiveBlogging the PCS: Part Holyeffinghellwhyisitsostressful, or 7.5.

Why 7.5? Because I feel the need for y'all to suffer through this home selling experience with me. And because I am so nice (at least to y'all) that I didn't want you to have to scroll to the bottom of the other post to get an update. I know, I know... I lurve you too.

SO, like I said yesterday, his initial offer was essentially $10,000 below asking price. Not cool as that would mean we would have to bring a total of $7,000 to closing. No thanks, mmmkay bye! Not quite. I counter offered at $1,500 less than listing price (because that would bring us right up to the price where we gain almost nothing, but loose nothing either). Apparently the buyer and his realtor were "Shocked" at the counteroffer.

To which I say: HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN TO MEXICO? This is how you barter folks. This is wheelin' and dealin' 101. What, was I supposed to counter your offer with, oh, I don't know, $8,000 less than my listing price? ARE YOU EFFING MAD? Why are people so thick? So he slept on it and will maybe make another offer today. Which is fine, I just wish I could send along a note with my counteroffer saying something to this effect:

Dear Prospective Buyer,

While I appreciate that you are looking for a deal, this is a house, not a used sofa at a yard sale. And while I can understand wanting to get a good price, honestly you are a damn fool if you think I'm going to take it in the shorts for thousands of dollars out of the kindness of my heart. I'm just not that nice. And I know what the comps are. I ain't stoopid.

Furthermore, I am fully aware that you qualify for the $8,000 credit from the government as a first time home buyer. And I can do math. So I know that you are essentially trying to get this house for a whopping $18,000 under the listing price. And that, dear Buyer, is batshitcrazyinsane. I would also like to point out that y'all being "Shocked" by our counteroffer isn't making me more pliable and worried or more likely to take a $7,000 hit with a smile and a Thankyouverymuch. It makes me think you have no idea what you are talking about and that you have never been to Mexico.

Also, I know that you have been looking at houses since February and that your mom and dad love this house. Personally, I hope they either browbeat you into making a reasonable offer or shame you publicly for being so insulting. Or that someone else comes in with a legit offer and steals it away from you. Like I said, I'm not that nice.

In any event, please consider making a reasonable offer (ie: not batshitcrazyinsane) and keep in mind that while you are under the impression that "allowing" me to stay in the house until November is a big deal. It isn't. Not at all. And it ain't worth $7,000 to me even if it were. So yeah, that's it. Hope to see your reasonable and non-insulting offer in the morning.

Mmmmkay, bye! ~Tucker

So we will see what happens today. The guy who made the first offer came back through last night and we have another showing late this morning. Fingers crossed we get some reasonable offers. And also, in other news, my Dad got his act together and now everyone is on the same page (aka: the right page, and the page that I am on). Thank God for my Mother.

Oh and did anyone else notice that it is starting to stay dark out later in the mornings? Because 0500 this morning wasn't nearly as bright as it has been. What? You weren't up at Whythehellisitstilldarkout'o clock too? Hmm. Want a free puppy????


silver star said...

I haven't been to bed yet, I didn't think to look outside about that time, and I didn't notice any extra light coming through the patio door. I'm so observant. I'm sorry I can't buy your house, we could use a home but it's hard to find one when your broke. Also, the free puppy is tempting, but the kitty found us and attached herself to us, so I can't see a puppy going over real well with her. I know, I'm not very helpful either.

Bree said...

I vote that if he sends yet another insulting offer that you send the note along :oP Might teach the punk a lesson or two LOL!

& remember it's only been 3 weeks or so since you put it on the market. A couple more weeks can't hurt, if the current prospective buyer(s) falls through.

Smiles said...

Wow. I don't think I've read any posts on your site that have been such an emotional rampage before. A few observations from an impartial observer...

1 - Take a deep breathe. This situation will eventually resolve itself. It's not worth your sanity in the meantime. Keep yourself healthy first and foremost.

2 - A guy is making an offer on a piece of property. It's a logical business decision for him. He's trying to get the best deal possible. Since he low balled you, I think he DOES know how the bartering system works.

3 - You are a woman reacting emotionally to the sale of your first home, the one you owned when you first got married, the one you live in when you husband deployed, the one that all of your life and safety and security and sense of financial independence has been wrapped up in for several years. To make the best financial deal for your family, you've got to take the emotion out of this business transaction. It sounds to me like you are taking all the anger and anxiety and issues that deployment dredges up and have found a great target for it in this random guy that made an offer on a house. Separate the two in order to make the best financial choice.

4 - The more you react emotionally the more he wins. The more worked up you are the less clearly you can think. That gives him an advantage.

5 - He's not out to get you. This isn't personal. He doesn't care what your mortgage is or what your future plans are or that your husband is deployed. None of those things factor into a financial investment. You have friends and family to care about you in that regard. It's not this guy's responsibility to make sure you don't end up upside down or in a loss position. You have the power to control that.

6 - You need to decide what you are willing to sell the house for. It shouldn't matter if you are dealing with a jerk or a sweet old lady. You need to have a bottom line. If you get an offer above that, take it. If you don't, let it go and wait for the next one to come to you. He's not worth all the effort you are putting into thinking about him. Ignore him and focus on that fabulous husband of yours instead.

I realize this is a big deal for you. You are selling your first house. He doesn't care. Don't let him get to you. Just let it out, let it go, and get back to dealing with the situation at hand in the cool, logical manner that military wives who kick-butt are known for!

loquita said...

Smiles offers great advice -- but personally, having just been through this exact experience, I'm joining you on the FUCK YOU BATSHITCRAZY BUYERS! band wagon. :-D

My belief is that realtors have been chatting up all their clients with "wow, right now is such a great time to buy, it's totally a buyers market, the sellers all just want to get out of their homes and are willing to sell at a loss, blah blah blah". Because just about everybody who made an offers on my home started out the exact same way.

My first offer was 18,000K below asking price! And I was already the lowest prices in my neighborhood -- just like you, I wanted to respond with "I know the comps asshole dumbass!!!"

I hope you feel better from venting out into bloggy-world. Maybe that would've helped me some? I dunno. All I do know is that I'd like to strangle everyone who ever told me that property was such a great investment -- it's only a good investment if you can stomach the selling process!!!

The pep talk I gave myself was always about showings -- if I had people going through the house and looking at it, I allowed myself to stand firm and not buckle to crappy offers. Especially after only 3 weeks on the market, it's not time to get desperate yet. Yes, the summer is coming to a close, but it's not like its dead winter when nobody buys anything.

So, just know that I am over here reading, saying to myself "AMEN SISTAH! FUCK 'EM ALL!!!" :-D

snarkyavywife said...

LOL. My spamword is -no sh*t- couth. LOL

Not sure I'd label this post an emotional rampage, but whatev. You have every right to be pissed at this guy. We've been in similar situations, and there's nothing more obnoxious than a low-baller trying to knock you down from a very reasonable asking price. Even though your home can be a point of emotional attachment, the idea of someone asking you to take it up the financial ass for their own benefit is rage-worthy. It's good you have a place to vent your frustrations, and much better at the blog world than your realtor. ;)

I say channel the frustration into your inner Bulldog (no lipstick, tho' - please, I beg of you) and refuse to back down. Yes, houses are still steals compared to what they were three years ago, but the market *IS* recovering (so saith my realtor mom). You have TWO bids in the house sale history now. That's unreal. That's superb. And it means you have a solid foundation. Unless it's illegal in your state (can't imagine, but ask your realtor), encourage these yahoos to get into a bidding war.

Also, here's what I recommend if you really want this guy to play hockey with you. Depending on what your break-even point is, offer to add the amount of the closing costs into the sale price (so he's still paying for them but doesn't have to show up to the table with that cash). So if he offers (for example) $140,000 + pay my closing costs, you say $145,000 + I'll pay your closing costs not to exceed $5,000. If you *have* to get $148,000 to call it even, then tell him he can pay $150,000 and you'll cover $2k of his closing costs. Make no bones about where you stand.

If he remains ridiculous, retract your counter-offer and let him stew. He can come back when he's ready to pay what the house is worth.

Go get 'em! And vent away here. I've got your back. :) Don't let an asshole take advantage of you when you clearly have a height-y if not upper hand.

liberal army wife said...

smiles - ya know - I'd just step back and leave the room right now... because until you HAVE done this, you have no idea what the hell you are talking about.

getting an insulting offer and then the ridiculous "shocked" reaction - I'd be pissed too! lowballing like that, and insulting her intelligence (the 1st time homebuyer credit doesn't mean he gets to walk away with it all, her with nothing)- that's a guy trying to take advantage of a bad market and a seller who is "motivated to sell" because of the military career of her spouse. I call that tacky. and THAT is personal. I'll give you some really good odds, that he wouldn't have done this if Swiss were the one showing him around! A bit like the attitude you get at a used car lot when the sales guy will only talk to the guy, not the woman buying.

we got a completely insane offer from someone who was only doing it to shut his wife up (he didn't want it, she did) we countered, he didn't even respond. Last I heard, he's saddled with a condo in St. Paul, 3 huge dogs and trailers his snowmobiles up to the track that leads right in front of the house... karma is a bitch, isn't she?

Smiles - giving this "be calm, zen, maintain"... wasn't what was needed here. Allow her to vent and be pissed. holding it in, give her nothing but agita. And being insulted, we get to be mad.


The Army Wife said...

This is your house. And your blog. And you have every right to react emotionally. If people don't want to hear it, then stop reading.

Smiles said...

It is Tucker's blog and she can vent all she wants. I didn't say I had a problem with that.

I am a Certified Public Accountant that works with multi-millionaire real estate developers. My only issue was that getting angry or feeling personally attacked doesn't make a lot of business sense. It uses up precious energy and is a distraction to getting the job done. Considering everything Tucker had invested in this deal according to her post on August 3rd about "the butterfly affect" I wanted her to get the best deal possible. That is difficult to do when when consumed with emotion. I was offering another perspective about how not to take it personally so you are on firm ground to negotiate serious offers or ignore someone who won't play ball. And I have bought and sold a house so I do understand what it is like.

LopsidedMom said...

It is Tucker's blog and she can vent all she wants. I didn't say I had a problem with that.

No, but using words like "emotional rampage," "you are a woman reacting emotionally" and "...the less clearly you can think..." would indicate that you do not have a problem being patronizing.

Just saying...cool and logical may do the trick at work, not so much so in a supportive blogging community.

liberal army wife said...

LM - exactly. patronizing and superior. Smiles - would you have said that if it was Swiss saying he was pissed off? that he thought the guy was being insulting? Or is it just that the "little woman" was venting?


Jenny said...

Don't feed the trolls...especially the ones who can't spell.

Tucker said...

I'll chime in here... Smiles, I appreciate that you stop by my blog, that you are comfortable enough to comment here and that you take the time to write. I just felt that what you wrote was both patronizing and presumptive. I'm sure you would agree that you don't know me well enough to make a lot of the assumptions you did...

Furthermore, of course I am 'emotional' on my blog. How boring would it be if I never showed emotion? But "consumed by emotion" or "emotional rampages"? That might be a bit of an exaggeration. With that being said, I would appreciate the benefit of the doubt that I wouldn't actually say ANY of those things to an actual buyer or agent. The purpose of this blog, actually any blog, is for me, the writer, to get it all out and then go act like an adult in the real world.

I also didn't appreciate the implication that I am angry and upset about this deployment... that implies that I am angry about what my husband does for a living and the life we lead. While I do not love everything about a deployment, I do love this life and I am VERY proud of what my husband is doing over there. I do not think that any post of mine pointed to me being angry or upset about this deployment (perhaps annoyed about not seeing Swiss, but not angry). I am not angry and I most certainly do not use it as an excuse to get angry about other things. If I seemed angry yesterday it was because I got an insulting offer, not because my husband is deployed.

Lastly, I do appreciate many of the points you made and I do understand that the written word can dull or mask the intentions behind what you meant to say (but I'd rather not assume your intentions). I just ask that you give me a little more credit and don't ask me to be (or imply that I should be) a perfect, stoic and utterly unrealistic example of an ideal military spouse. I think those are mythical creatures best left to Lifetime TV.


Smiles said...

LAW: “Smiles - would you have said that if it was Swiss saying he was pissed off?”

I would have said the same thing to Swiss. After 10 years in the financial sector, I have observed that money is an emotional issue for many people. Those that are most successful in building wealth do not let emotions dictate financial choices. “It’s an insult!” is an emotional reaction, at least in my interpretation. That was the vibe I got from Tucker’s post. “It’s an insult” to me also translates to “ I’m a victim.” That seemed completely out of character for Tucker to me. I did not mean for my post to be patronizing. I meant it as suggestions for how to separate emotion from the transaction to empower her to get the best deal. I wasn’t suggesting that she take emotion out of her blog, just out of the real estate transaction. I’m happy for her that the house sold.

She’s said before that she hates the pity party that comes after telling civilians about her husband’s deployment. I didn’t feel right posting a “yeah, be pissed off” post because it felt like being part of the pity party. She was obviously getting the “you’re not alone, we hear you” from other posters so I didn’t feel the need to write that either. My post was intended to be “take the emotion out of it and get everything you deserve in the negotiation” and nothing more.

It was not my intent to be patronizing. Item 3 was poorly written. I could have done a second or third draft to get my point across more clearly but I wrote the comment in one shot on a lunch break so we are stuck with the first draft. Seemed like time was a factor so I didn’t dally. Hopefully these clarifications get across my intention better.

One issue here seems to be my use of “emotional rampage”. When I read Tucker’s post, I literally backed up from the screen. I pictured someone angry, upset and ready to throw things. Obviously this reaction is colored by my imagination and experiences. And it is not a gender thing (I actually see men get mad more often then women). I didn’t get a “oh she’s being funny... hahaha” reaction when reading it. My comments were based on my interpretation. I had just had a friend in my office venting about her life. When she left she apologized for “emotionally vomiting” all over me. It’s a colorful phrase. Instead of using that I came up with a colorful phrase of my own. It seemed to fit what I read. I wasn’t commenting on whether it was good or bad. I was just describing what I felt after reading her post and noting that in my experience it is difficult for people (of any gender) to think clearly and make the best choices when they feel insulted and are in reaction mode.

And I have no problem with emotional rampages in the right time and place. If a known pedophile is approaching your kid – give him everything you’ve got. I was only suggesting that Tucker might get a better deal by not bringing it to the real estate table.

Jenny: “especially the ones who can't spell.”

Very true. I can’t spell to save my life. In sixth grade I got a Spelling Dictionary from Santa Claus and thought it was the best gift in the entire world.

Smiles said...

Tucker: “I also didn't appreciate the implication that I am angry and upset about this deployment... that implies that I am angry about what my husband does for a living and the life we lead.”

For me “Deployments suck” = “upset about the deployment” and they are interchangeable. Speaking personally - my husband has gone to war less than 6 months after we got married - of course I’m upset! I do NOT think that also means you are angry at your husband or hate what he does for a living. There is no way IMO anyone reading your blog would think you had anything but admiration and respect for what your husband does for a living. As do I.

I read anger in your post and was trying to put myself in your shoes about what might be influencing that. I was only hypothesizing that it was a possibility that stress over the deployment might be manifesting as a reaction to this guy making the offer. I’m not a psychologist. I don’t know what you are feeling or why. I wasn’t intending to be presumptive. The fact that you had to deal with this alone is stressful. You are dealing with it alone because of a deployment. That sucks. This stranger could be a safe outlet for all the stuff walled up inside that you can’t unleash to civilians that don’t get it or co-workers that you aren’t that close with, etc. Again, I do apologize that it was poorly written.

Tucker - “I just ask that you give me a little more credit and don't ask me to be (or imply that I should be) a perfect….”

I think you are an amazing military spouse for dealing with everything the military life requires. I don’t think anybody is perfect and would never ask any one to be. I wasn’t attempting to give lifestyle advice of any kind other than suggesting that you deal with the house in a business-like (i.e. non-emotional) manner to get the best deal, which appears to be what you did.