25 January 2009

Home stretch.

We are now in the home stretch and, man, is this deployment looming. Looming is a funny word. But yes, it is the 500 lb. gorilla in the room. A big, stinky, hairy gorilla.

I have read the stories about women who get to the point where they just want the deployment to start already. I read those stories 6 months ago. I couldn't understand it. Not one bit. I thought, how could these women want their husbands to leave? How could they wish the deployment would start sooner? ARE THEY MAD? Nope, I couldn't fathom it at all.

And here I sit, 6 months removed from when we first learned of the deployment and first read those stories, just wishing it would get started already. Talk about full circle.

I think Swiss and I are simply ready to get things going, instead of waiting, waiting, waiting. Not that I want to see him go any sooner than he has to (but don't get me started on the clearing/flagging process the Army has... you'd think the folks on post have never done this "Fit for Duty" thing before by the looks of it. Bah!) and not that I want to have less time with him. Don't misunderstand me. I just want to get on with this so that it can get over with sooner.

I am weary of anticipating the goodbye. I am tired of preparing to be sad and/or lonely. I am just so over staring at that stinky, hairy gorilla every day and every night.


slightly salty said...

I was like you before the first deployment and not understand how wives could want their husbands to leave ASAP. Now I know. The anticipation of a deployment is one of the worst heart-sinking feelings. It's like being in the middle and being pulled into two different directions. You don't want them to leave but you do so you can get it over with. Hang in there! I know it's hard.

liberal army wife said...

I know... it's one of those things that you don't know until you have lived it.