I used to like them. They were unpredictable and thrilling and fun. Now, I think they suck. Rickety deathtraps at overpriced amusement parks... and you have to wait in line for an hour for a 3 minute ride. Gaw, I am getting surly in my old age.
But I hate emotional roller coasters even more than the real deal. I like to think I am pretty even keeled, I have a steady temperament and am generally a happy, quirky, fun gal. But this deployment business can really put some kinks in one's demeanor.
Like yesterday... one minute I am crying as I watch Swiss walk to work, then I write an entry here that is all somber and introspective and then I chase down a wiener dog and blog about that too. Then I work on the letter I am going to stuff in his ruck and I am all misty again. Hella misty. But I go pick him up from work and all we do all night is laugh and snort and have fun.
While Swiss is at work I have loads of time to think and muse and do loads of frivolous things (read: Guitar Hero), and this morning I was sitting here thinking about the past few days and how surreal they have been. I sometimes just can't wrap my head around the sheer volume of emotions this THING is pulling out of me. To be scared out of your gourd and laughing hysterically in a matter of minutes is seriously taxing. Pouring out your emotions and fears and trying your best to convey everything you feel on a piece of paper and then not 10 minutes later merrily cooking dinner and pleasantly talking about our days is not normal, at least not in my book. Bah!
Anyway, I will just chalk this all up to being one of the many things I didn't see coming. And maybe some of you can relate... maybe not. Maybe I am just crazy. But if you know what I mean, I'd love to hear your take on it all...