Angsty.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been feeling antsy and angsty and generally unsettled. It has nothing to do with the PCS, that much I know. I suspect it has everything to do with all the turnings of the tides over yonder in the Sandboxes. I don't know how many times I have heard "All of our troops are out of the city!" in the last few days and then how many times I roll my eyes. (Not to mention the inevitable, "So does this mean Swiss gets to come home?" No. No it does not.)

They are not out. Decidedly not. Anyone who knows anything knows this. So why the charade? Why the lip service? Are we afraid to say we were wrong and they aren't ready? Do we not want to hurt feelings or relationships so we just go along with the plan anyway? Or are we just not ready to give up control, so we just say we are? In word but not in spirit? Or worse yet, are we still there because we didn't have a good place to move these guys to? Ask around and you might be surprised by the answers you find...

Somehow our guys went from soldiers to "Advisers" overnight, and somehow this means they are no longer "troops"? Wha? And what's worse is that somewhere the truth got lost in the translation and it seems that folks think the war in Iraq is now over. If only... Gaw, lately it seems like it is just beginning again, albeit in a new format. Violence is up. Attacks are up. Security is uneven at best.

And this major offensive in Afghanistan (with one KIA already) and the DUSTWUN soldier too... it all makes me nervous. It makes me edgy. It makes me realize that even though things seemed 'easy' and 'safe' for a little while, they aren't. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Troops are still dying, losing their legs, anything else you can (or can't) imagine. There are still mortar attacks, IEDs, the works... This isn't easy, this isn't over and the danger isn't gone. And all of this brings the fact that Swiss isn't safe, none of our loved ones over there are, into sharp focus. And that scares the crap out of me.

So I guess the nerves, the angst, the antsyness... all just par for the course. This is what it feels like when your loved ones are at war. It ain't a fun place to be. But then again, most of you know that. And you know this feeling. Maybe you are feeling it right now too...

At the risk of sounding hokey, the only thing I can think to do is keep these guys and gals in your thoughts (or prayers if that is your bag). And don't let the folks around you forget. It isn't over yet and we all need to remember that. Do it for them, for their families, or even for me... just one in the endless sea of worried, nervous and angsty spouses. Until they all come home. Okay?

I know it isn't much, but it is something. And right now I'll take anything that will help me feel even a little bit better about this.