A new friend of mine is getting ready to head into her first deployment with her boyfriend. It seems like ages ago that I first started to deal with what she is going through now, though it was less than a year ago... so much has happened since then. But I remember. I remember how I felt, I remember how insurmountable it all seemed, I remember the fear and the worry, I remember not knowing how I was going to do this.
I went back and read the post about when we found out. I got misty as I read it because all of those emotions came flooding back. I was in that van again, staring out into the rain, scared, worried, unsure, and trying to be brave. I remember sitting there dumbfounded as to how I was going to do this... how I would make it through 12 months of war, separation and fear.
And here I am, almost a year after that truly crap day and nearly 2 months into the deployment. Certainly not through it yet, but well on our way. I am doing fine, I am coping well, I am doing this. WE are doing this. Does it feel like I am just going through the motions at times? Yes. Are there days when I just can't hold it together anymore? Absolutely. But am I cracking under the loneliness, worry and pressure? Nope. Am I crippled by the fear? No. Do I miss Swiss more than anything? You bet. Does this suck? Yes, and then some. But the most important thing is that we are doing this. We are getting through this and we are doing fine.
So to any of you who have yet to embark on this journey- be honest, communicate, take care of yourself, and know that you will get through it too. Because after all, our guys (and gals!) aren't the only ones who are Army Strong.*
*Navy, Marine, Air Force and Coastie Strong too!
PS: We totally had to watch that Army Strong video at the unit's pre-deployment breifing. I confess that I got choked up- I think it was the mix of my husband deploying, pride, and a good soundtrack. Apparently I am highly susceptable to propaganda. Sigh...
UPDATE: I went back and watched that video again this morning and it still got me choked up. I am weak in the face of good propaganda... but damnit I am proud of my husband and I am proud of what he does, what he stands for and that he is all that is right with the Army. So I am allowing myself to get choked up by it. The end.